Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Global Warming Explained


P2 was telling me about a discussion in his social studies class. They were discussing the impact of global warming on farmers, especially in historically agrarian cultures. The teacher was sharing that ocean levels in India had risen and the global temperature change had resulted in changes to the cycle of cyclones (or something). I guess this boy put his hand up to argue that global warming wasn't real. The teacher, allegedly, told him that there were people who would agree with the boy's theory, but that he would like to know why the boy felt global warming was nonfactual. P2 says the boy said, the ocean rose because the "Christmas Tsunami" in 2004 pulled so much debris into the water that it was "like dumping boulders in your pool and blaming the spill over on global warming".

*I'll pause while you consider this.

The teacher tried explaining the size of the ocean and the flaws in the boys theory. Boy got angry with teacher. Teacher said that he would like to see where the boy got this information/idea from so that he can read-up on it. Boy tells him that people in Noah's time thought their flood was from global warming, too...or so says the boy's minister.

This is why rational people don't take creation science seriously.

13 comments:

paul [silentsanta] said...

It's a shame the teacher could not have got away with just quoting this:

"Mr. Madison, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response did you get even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.

Everyone in this room... is now dumber for having listened to it.

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

CrypticLife said...

How ridiculous!

Everyone knows an increase in the spawning rates of fish, especially whales, after the tsunami resulted in increased water displacement due to the additional body mass.

CyberLizard said...

This is just silly. Let's face facts: the global temperature increase is inversely proportional to the number of pirates.

May we all be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

Perpetual Beginner said...

Ah - so as the pirate ships are sunk, their collective mass displacement raises the water level, causing the ocean's to only look as if they're rising, when actually global warming is...no wait, Pastafarians do believe in global warming, so the ocean rise is real despite the sunken pirate ships.

I'm so confused. How can I keep my nonsense rationalizations straight?

Robert said...

Best. Explanation. Ever!

simply amazing.

corsair the rational pirate said...

Hey! Lay off us Pirates! I had nothing to do with rising sea levels... Except that one time when I had an inordinate amount of grog on the boat and I had to do my business "hanging over the rail" as it were.

Man, did that feel good!

Sara said...

RAmen, CyberLizard. RAmen.

Ruby Isabella said...

The boys argument doesn't make sense because some fish would have been washed onto land thereby lowering the sea level.

possum_momma said...

Robert said...
Best. Explanation. Ever!


That was my response. LOL

When he told me about this, I stood there with my jaw open for at least five seconds. P2 just kept looking at me with a cat-like grin.

After I closed my mouth, we set about laughing hysterically and debunking the theory (which wasn't all that nice, but I can only hold my straight face for so long).

Poodles said...

And all this time I thought it was because, as more people go to the beach and swim in the ocean they sometimes poop. More poop, higher water. :-D

Invisible Dragon said...

I keep coming back to read this, maybe in hopes that I was not seeing what I thought I was seeing, but it hasn't changed... Poor kid. I suppose the preacher lying about global warming is better than molesting the kid, but not by much. >.<

Wow.

possum_momma said...

I just want to know...at which point in the Sunday service do they decide to unravel science for Jesus?

thehabi said...

Well actually...

The number of pirates increased inthe past decade, so the risk of global warming should decrease.

Damn... I contradicted FSM teachings.

Wait, these new pirates, aren't REAL pirates, they are bloody cosairs.

Problem solved...