Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Gay Marriage

Here in Kern County, there are a significant number of people who look at California's decision to allow gay marriage as the end of the world. It's really quite embarrassing. On the city's newspaper blogs, there are people freaking. the. hell. out. Here's my letter to them (since it would get censored there, I'm putting it here):

Dear "Protectors of family values",
You, dear sir or ma'am, are a hypocrite. You don't give two shits about family values. What you care about is maintaining some sort of moral high ground and holding other people to your narrow-minded definitions of love and marriage.

Some of you have said that this is "changing the definition of marriage". I have to ask what your definition is? I define marriage as: two consenting adults who decide to spend their rest of their lives together, who choose to legalize that union so that they may share the same benefits as other married couples. All Americans should be free to marry who they wish (within the realm of consent and adulthood). Why should we give that right to one group of people and not another? As to the claim that marriage is a purely religious ceremony - bullshit. If that's your argument than you would be out there picketing the marriages of heterosexual atheist couples. Now, I realize that I probably just gave some idiot a new cause, but I would think even a majority of theists would object to banning atheist marriages. Let's hope!

I happen to know four human beings (all wonderful, wonderful people) who have decided to be united to the person they love for the rest of their lives. I didn't have the opportunity to go to their wedding, as one couple took the opportunity to marry when Gavin Newsome opened the courthouse in San Francisco over a Valentine's Day Weekend. The other couple went through a bunch of legal rig-a-ma-role to change their names to the same last name and become as close to a married coupe as they could. Every couple should have the experience of standing before friends and family who are there to support them and wish them love and joy (if that's what they want). I've seen these couples express deep love and I'm happy for them. Each of these couples are now parents and are raising beautiful, unique, wonderful babies. Those babies know love and stability. And, I ache with the knowledge that some bigoted asshole will do everything in their power to show them what hate is. I hope that never comes to fruition.

If you value families, then allow them to come together in all the colors, creeds, shapes, and orientations that they can exist. Support them and you support family values.

And, in closing, if your marriage is so tenuous that living in a state that condones gay marriage is going to "ruin it", then you need to examine the foundations of your marriage. Perhaps that foundation isn't as strong as you think it is.
Sincerely,
PMomma

27 comments:

April said...

You did it again. You said what I wanted to say, only better!

Bwian said...

Anyone have a list of religions that perform homosexual marriages? You know, for the people who actually would ban atheist marriages given the option?

John D said...

To answer a previous comment:

Rabbis in the Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist movements may officiate at same-sex weddings. (These three represent more than 80% of synagogue-affiliated Jews in America.)

The United Church of Christ will bless the weddings of same-sex couples (do you hear that Barack?).

The Episcopalians will bless same-sex couples (there's still some debate about officiating at legal unions).

I'm probably missing someone.

Karen said...

Unitarians will also bless same-sex couples.

JaaJoe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Atheist in a mini van. said...

JaaJoe, your book link was erased for a few reasons:
1. It wasn't relevant to the post.
2. You're not a regular around here and your information linked back to a non-blog. I've checked and you've never posted here before this evening's post. Your link was a link to a commercial website that deals in books.
3. If you want to suggest a book to me or give me a copy to review here, then contact my via my e-mail address. Or, just e-mail me with links and I'll look it over.

I was Krazy once... said...

Thank you for your support. It's nice to know that there are actually some people out there on our side. Thanks, PMomma! Great letter!

John said...

Thank you, Pmomma for your support. It is greatly appreciated.

corsair the rational pirate said...

As a relatively conservative atheist (we are a rare breed) I say let people marry who they want. The government shouldn't even be in the marriage business and shouldn't be telling people who they can and cannot marry.

Allyson said...

I think your last paragraph says it the best. Great writing!

Amy said...

Wonderful, wonderful letter :)

BC Cook said...

I shouldn't be surprised by the hysteria since I did once spend the longest two months of my life in Kern County.
Up here in the Great White North True and Free, we've had same-sex marriage for five years. Now listen carefully....hear the sky falling?
No?
Amazing isn't it?
Aside from the astronomical growth of a gay wedding industry, life goes on much as before. Gay and lesbian couples appear in the news or on TV without accompanying winks, nudges, or incredulity.
Gays aren't a threat to marriage. Divorce is. And divorce is highest in the co-called bible belt. People who are worried about the state of marriage should -- as my dear grandmother used to say -- sweep their own doorstep before looking elsewhere for dirt.

Poodles said...

AMEN!

Country Wife said...

Well said, PM!!

Natasha Yar-Routh said...

Possummomma, great post as always. Living in Kern Cunty as well I am not at all suprised that the theocrats heads are exploding over this.

bc cook, nice reply to he theocrats who are so worried about us marrying.

Great news the California Supreme Court did not gratnt a stay so marraige equlaity will be infroce as of June 17. Happy wedings all.

spajadigit said...

I think you should send it in anyway,maybe edited for language. :)

California has had the ban removed for a while now, and my marriage is still doing fine. All those people claiming that allowing gay couples to marry would destroy the institution seem to have overstated their case.

Besides, why is the government involved in marriage anyway, if it really is a religious institution?

Great post as always!

Jim said...

Right on target.

To paraphrase comedian Lewis Black, "On the list of things we need to be worried about, gay marriage is on page 6 after 'are we eating too much garlic as a people?'"

Seriously, if these folks want to protect the institution of marriage perhaps they should start by addressing the oft-touted 50% divorce rate in heterosexual marriages.

Cogito said...

My marriage seems to be weathering this assault just fine. But then again, we are both atheists, and everyone knows atheist marriages tend to be stronger than evangelical ones. ;)

Seriously, thanks for your post - it's right on the money.

@lankr1ta said...

The earth heats up at an enormous rate, gas prices shoot through the roof, there is a war on in Iraq and problems with security and education... not much problems, but let gay marriage get legalized and damn, its the end of the universe as we know it..... The logic is mind numbing...

Going Churching said...

You said it well. There is this forum that I argue on for a group of people in a smaller town of Baytown, TX. These people actually think that legalizing homosexual marriage is going to break down morality. None of them had ever even heard of Kant's categorical imperative, so we had a little talk about morality and how to progress towards equality in society. It didn't work. Sad.

Enkidu said...

I'd like to be free to manage my own life as I see fit, and allow others to do the same. I'd like to be able to not care about others' private lives, living my own monogamous, straight marriage, leaving others to work out domestic arrangements among themselves, arrangements that aren't constrained by the irrational fears and myths of frightened children.

Eight Hour Lunch said...

Great post. Sorry I've been absent so long. People are still commenting on what a great guest you were on the podcast. Hope you're doing well.

Doug

Ami said...

I can't imagine why so many people are threatened by love.
It's a strange and crazy world sometimes, I guess.

I love the letter.

Did they print it?

Dan said...

And why aren't they out there protesting against all the "Which random stranger am I gonna marry" shows?

TeleFrank said...

Right on, momma! It's about time that those on the hypocritical right stop telling people who they can and cannot love, as they drive to their divorce lawyer's office on the way home from their mistress' house.

heathenmommy said...

I love you PMomma. I've been a lutker for a while, but I finally just had to say it! :D

K. L. Christianson said...

ngs from the land of OZ were we all are Friends of dorothy and

here is a link and the directions to all the LGTB friendly signatories of the Pro gay marriage churches

http://www.cafaithforequality.org/amicus_brief_07.htm

part three about page 4
John D theres your answer