Saturday, May 24, 2008

Darwinian Sex Festival

Yes. You read that right. According to poster Gretchen, if you don't follow the fundy interpretation of the Bible when it comes to sexual relations, then you're an animal participant in a Darwinian Sex Festival. To quote Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, "Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout."

Here's the entire text of her comment (from the last post on this blog).
"Do you tell her (P1) the option where God calls her to be virginally chaste
until her wedding night? That is an option most liberal parents forget so as a
result the number of abortions in teen liberals rise. If P1 keeps her baby what
will you do to her? Is she free to do that and perserve life by standing
accountable to God for the sin."

Why would I tell my children to listen to God's advice about sex when I don't believe in God? If P1 decides she wants to wait until her wedding night, then I'd support her. Just because we talk openly about sex doesn't mean I'm handing her a list of guys' phone numbers, an IUD, and a copy of the Kama Sutra.

Please, please show me the statistics that back-up your claims that "liberal" (aka, open minded and honest) parenting leads to a rise in abortions. I've never seen any study that would suggest that. To the contrary, all studies seem to suggest that states who teach abstinence only have higher rates of abortion than those that use a curriculum that includes discussion of birth control.

Your last statement (in this paragraph) is interesting. And, in fact, Pdaddy and I have had this very discussion on numerous occasions. We both realize that mistakes happen. And, we realize that giving our children that choice would include keeping a pregnancy, even if *we* thought it was too soon for our kids to be parents. However, in the end, we came to the conclusion that we will support the decisions they make. And, since we really would like to see our kids have, at the very least, a Bachelors Degree, we would gladly help raise our grandchild to give our kids the education we've promised them. Having a baby or an abortion is nowhere near the end of the world and premarital sex happens. It's not optimal and we're not advocating that the kids go out and get knocked up, but we will be there for our children in whatever capacity they need us.

"You condone teen sex and don't pretend otherwise because it's clear to me what
you will permit."

I don't condone teen sex. I am honest about the possibility, and probability, that shit happens. I can't even say that I would be happy with one of my children having sex in their teens. But, it has nothing to do with some religious code of ethics. I just know that sex is more than a physical action. Optimally, people should go into sex with a great deal of emotional security and mental preparedness. And, I truly believe that children should have goals, besides marrying so they can have sex, that prepare them for a better future. Sex can derail the best laid plans.

Why would anyone stay pure who don't have God's words or testimony? Have a big
Darwin sex festival where you can have sex like animals cause thats all you are teaching
them to be. My children will be acting like ladies and gentlemen because they
are not animals.

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Where can one find these Darwinian Sex Festivals? I'm sure everyone reading this blog wants to know.

Setting a rule is wrong now? As long as a child is in its parents house they
should do what parent says. I say no sex until marriage. You tap dance to make
them feel good. well life is hard. you have to be willing to do the right thing.

Setting limitations and expectations is perfectly reasonable. Hey! It's your house. If you want to make chastity and virginity a "rule", then knock yourself out. I just want to know how you feel it's YOUR right to tell me, or anyone else, what to do in OUR homes. If you believe your God wants you to avoid talking about sex with your kids and threaten them into chastity (which, by the way...doesn't seem to work very well), then have at it.

I would never admit this with pride (have children who could name birth control
techniques). It is horrible that you don't protect their innocence.

Yes. It's horrible that children might take responsibility for their reproductive organs and ways to prevent STDs and pregnancy. Being informed is, clearly, evil. *rolls eyes* I'll go back to using a Barbie and Ken with fig leaves covering their non-existant genetalia as props.


Katie said...

I am so making a picture of what a Darwinian Sex Festival would look like for giggles. Thanks P-momma for rattling my little artist brain.

K. said...

I'm not sure if it would be better if they were doing it intentionally or accidentally, but when theists like this person make comments as she did while trying to "live God's Word" or whatnot, do they realize how incredibly vindictive and petty they are?

Anonymous said...

Mary, the mother of Jesus, was not a virgin. She had underage premarital sex with Joseph. It's common knowledge that the word "virgin" was a mistranslation of "almah", which actually means young woman. Oops. Did they forget to mention that in Sunday School?

If there was any doubt of her perpetual virginity, she went on to have other children as detailed in the new testament.

Too bad they didn't have Darwin sex parties back then; she would've enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Stacey said...

Wow, you sure know how to bring out the crazies. teehee!

Matt D. said...

Does Gretchen have a daughter (I'm sorry, I haven't read her comments). If she does, we can further test my abilities as a non-prophet:

Given the two parenting styles, I'm willing to place a sizable bet about which daughter is more likely to find themselves pregnant or in any "trouble" that is the result of an exceptionally poor decision.


Because one parent is being realistic and actually teaching their child and the other is just trying to control their child.

Rebellion is a response to authoritarianism. Responsibility is the result of understanding.

If Gretchen's daughter remains chaste out of fear of an angry mother and an angry god - she's accomplished very little. She will, most likely, be ill-equipped for the big decisions life will throw at her.

I suppose it's possible that Gretchen wants to raise a daughter that is simply another breeder, a dutiful servant to her husband, popping out another generation whose heads will be filled with the same nonsense the previous generation of clones were subjected to...but I'd prefer to see my next generation be better - in every respect.

Milo Johnson said...

To heck with Festivus, the Darwinian Sex Festival sounds like the best holiday EVER!

Psychodiva said...

"Why would anyone stay pure who don't have God's words or testimony?"

Gretchen appears to have the usual religious person's inability to imagine moral choices being made without the support of an outside (albeit imaginary) agency. This is an age-old difficulty among religious idiots who live their life according to a book written over a period of time by a lot of possibly old men merely so that they could detail their imaginary history of an obscure tribe living in an obscure place at an obscure time - and then added to by men who merely thought to control women by plagiarising from an awful lot of earlier sources.

If these people would get their heads out of these idiotic books for any length of time and consider where human morality and choices actually come from they would realise that we don't actually need an old book to tell us what is right and wrong and keeping 'pure' as this person puts it is merely a matter of choice about mental and physical health made by many women over many centuries.

'purity' of the female only became important when the males started taking over land and posessions, the gods became magically male almost overnight and the males needed to be able to 'trace' their progeny and ensure that what they fought for and won was passed down to the 'right' (male) person - prior to this, female sexuality was celebrated and fecundity was sought after, not purity.

I'd get a few history and comparative religion lessons if I were you Gretchen. Just because I don't believe in either your imaginary friend (among hundreds of others) or your old plagiarised book, does not mean I have no morals- I just know mine come from something worthwhile :)

cognitive dissident said...

I adore the idea of a Darwin Sex Festival; we could advertise it as "The Survival of the Flirtiest"...

By the way, today is the Masturbate-a-thon in support of sex education and sexual safety...if you have time, lend a hand to the cause!

Xzanron said...

I think this comic sums things up quite nicely.

maxi said...

Well as a child of open liberal parents I would like to put in my 2 cents (or pennies, seeing as I'm in the UK!).

My parents were very open about sex, I knew if I ever had a question or needed something I could go to them. I knew that sex=babies, and that it was important to use protection to avoid pregnancy and STDs. With the help of More, Cosmo, Glamour etc. my friends and I used to read their sections on sexual health and laugh naughtily at the Sex Position of the Month.

Now, with such a godless indoctrination into sex, when did I have sex for the first time...? I was 20 years old.

One anecdotal story is hardly proof, but I can say that in my group of friends, all raised similarly, none of us had sex before we were 18. A full grounding in sex is important for your child's emotional and sexual health.

PS If anyone could forward me the details of this Darwinian Sex Festival, I'd be very grateful!

Poodles said...

This would be way better than the annual state fair...

Anonymous said...

A Darwin sex festival sounds pretty hot. Does it include sexual liasons with all steps of the evolutionary chain? Because I bet Homo Erectus knows how to have a good time.
Incidentally, I've waited my entire life to make a Homo Erectus joke and can now die a happy woman.

Eclectic said...

Cognitive dissident:

Thanks for the pointer. The records make me jealous: men can work harder, but women get more out of it, sigh. And I see a delicious double entendre: I'll have to give them some moral support!

Godless Sunday said...

Just found your blog. A-HA! I knew I wasn't the only one.
So glad I found this blog.

eyeslikesugar said...

Hahaha no joke! When I read her comment, and got to the "Darwinian Sex Festival" part; I LOLed and had to share it with my boyfriend. Toooo funny! I picture Darwin on Galapagos having orgies with monkeys and finches. That still would be better than having to go to church. Great title, P-momma, great title! =D

April said...

Oh, man! I was so excited to learn more of the Darwinian Sex Fest! *sigh* you, big tease, P-Momma!

Anonymous said...

Rubyawake is here all week. Try the veal!

I would say that you deserved a rim shot for that one, this thread that could be interpreted several ways. *wink*

Christine said...

Darwinian Sex Festival would actually be a pretty sweet band name :) I call dibs on the cowbell.

Rubyawake for the win, folks...

Anonymous said...

Darwinian Sex Festival - where do I get tickets?

and abstinence works soooo well. Not.
just ask those Purity Ball girls

An increasing number of young American women and girls are attending purity balls with their conservative Christian fathers who promise to protect their daughters' chastity until marriage. About 88 per cent of these women lose their virginity before they wed

and one wonders how many of them get pregnant or catch STDs because they weren't taught how to protect themselves?

Anonymous said...

do they realize how incredibly vindictive and petty they are?
No they don't, which is one of their biggest problems.

jt said...

Speaking as someone who was tortured with the "pure sex" theology - I was pregnant at 18. Because at that point, I was so tired of being tied down and told what to do, that I went out and made like a bunny. And since I knew little to nothing about birth control, whoa! Big surprise that I became a teen mom.

These days, my 13 year old knows as much as I can teach her about sex. Everything I can find on the net, in a book, I give it to her. The best thing I've found so far, came out of the UK. It's called "A Girl's Guide to Sex in the 21st Century. Talk about the most honest up front sex talk you can get. And she's watched every minute of all 8 shows, then we sat down and talked about it so I could make sure she understand. It's probably a little more blatant then most people can handle ~grin~ but better to be prepared.

Knowledge is power baby. Get every scrap you can.

Baal's Bum said...

The only reason they want their wives to be "pure" is they are afraid they "wouldn't measure up"
Give me a woman with experience any day

aimee said...

Do you know if there is a series for boys?

CrypticLife said...


On Purity Balls, appearently there's a corresponding pledge by the fathers to remain faithful to the mothers. Given that roughly half of married men have cheated, I wonder how many of the fathers' vows remain valid?

Anonymous said...

Rim shots, eh? This sex festival just gets better and better...