Saturday, April 19, 2008

PopeDevo

Phrases you never expect to hear in news coverage of the Pope's visit to America: "Oh yea. That's the money shot right there." - Headline News Vatican Priest Reporter on Headline News.

I swear, I shot water out my nose.

So...I've avoided posting about the Pope. Mostly, I've avoided it because I've been focused on the FLDS thing and work, but I find that I can't get these images of Pope devotion (which I'm going to affectionately begin referring to as "PopeDevo") out of my head. I'm watching these huge, screaming and crying crowds who gather to see him and it reminds me of a few other "rallies" I've had the distinct displeasure of seeing. It's like a holy football game and the Pope Mobile is the pigskin. All eyes on the pig skin.

Other thoughts of a PopeDevo nature:
1. Five people. He met with FIVE "survivors" of pedophile priests. Call me crazy, but I'm just not sure that's enough to absolve him of his responsibility for the situation. Ratzinger was charged with "dealing with" these priests. That was his job for the majority of the 80's and 90's. And, rather than pull these priests out of churches, he shuffled them around like peas in the shell game. He hid them. And, above all, he lived by the oath of protecting the Vatican and the Catholic Church....even if that meant losing these children and families who devoted their lives and income to the Church. Frankly, I don't know that any Catholic priest will understand what it's like to have a child who's molested by someone you (as a parent) vested with trust and God's power. This is partially why I think priests should be allowed to marry and have children. How can they possibly understand how much you suffer when your children suffer? Five people out of tens of thousands... I know some are applauding him for this, but I say it's too little, too late.

2. Fifty disabled children line up to be blessed by the Pope at St. Joseph's Seminary. Funny. I didn't see any wheelchairs and crutches outside the back door. But, that's not the part that really bothers me. What really bothers me, having known people with truly disabled children, is the knowledge that they funded those trips on their own. I suppose it's possible there were "love offerings" collected for them in parish churches, but...could that money have been spent better? Believe in God or don't believe in God - what good is a blessing from the Pope going to do for these kids? Will they walk? Will they talk? Will there be any measurable improvement to justify taking them out of their environment and spending money on the trip? $2000 can buy a lot of physical and occupational therapy.

3. He still looks like Emperor Palpatine to me.

4. I will give credit where it's due. Going to offer greetings to the Jewish community for Passover was classy. But, then some snotty witch said, in the commentary, "It's us against them. This is about joining hands with those who believe in our God to fight the culture of death." Buzz kill! So, basically, Palpatine is forming an empire to overthrow the republic? Does this make Richard Dawkins the Yoda of atheism? Is Christopher Hitchens Han Solo? No. Wait. Hitchens is definitely the wookie. I'll just say up front: I'm not sleeping in a dead Taun Taun.

5. I'll give bonus points (which mean nothing in real life) to whoever can photoshop a picture of the Pope with a Devo hat.

22 comments:

April said...

I've been trying to avoid the Pope coverage as much as possible, but thanks, as always, for posting my own opinions in a much better way than I ever could!

Milo Johnson said...

I'm afraid Hitchens is still in the cantina slamming down cheap Arcturian scotch and accosting strangers and trying to convince them how brilliant he is...

aimee said...

LOL, when my husband did a post on his blog about the Pope and their new commandments, I said the same thing about him looking like Emperor Palpatine. In this pic he had this look about him... spooky. I bet his hat is so tall so that he can hide his light saber under it.

reVAMPed said...

I still think the Pope looks like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.

Chakolate said...

Blogger reVAMPed said...

I still think the Pope looks like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.


Thank you! I have been trying to figure out who it was he reminds me of.

Ah, Fester, you old dog, you.

Jim said...

There's a reason that I have "evil santa pope" as my image. Among other things he does look like Palpatine. Come to the dark side...

Hello, il Papa? It's irrelevancy calling...

Anonymous said...

Also sick and tired of the popedevo.

Heard this on the radio today: Doesn't he sound like Col. Klink ?

PD is still creepy but now every soundbite brings a wry chuckle. Hell I can't help but picture him with a monocle bellowing "Shultz! Shultz!"

He may look like Palpatine but he sounds like Klink.

Rastabow.

Katie said...

Whenever he shows up on tv my husband and I start to hum the imperial march.

Paul said...

[silentsanta, NZ]

Here is a tacky job I did in 5 mins with MS Paint (not GIMP or Photoshop).

I present, PopeDevo
http://img234.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=72103_popedevo_122_140lo.jpg

Ps. Have you seen "The Live Aquatic with Steve Zissou"?

Mark Mothersbaugh did the soundtrack, and it's brilliant. There's lots of David Bowie sung in Portuguese with an acoustic guitar.

Atheist in a mini van. said...

@Paul - I love it. Can I use it to make an avatar? :)

Paul said...

[silentsanta, NZ]

Knock yourself out :)

rubyawake said...

I am so very tired of the Pope. I love how it's not the Catholic Church's fault that all of those kids were molested, rather it's just a by-product of our evil society. Yeah, okay, Palpatine.
And I love things like this, " [the Pope] later told the nation's bishops that the scourge of clergy sex abuse had sometimes been "very badly handled." YOU THINK? In other breaking news, Pope says, "Grass is green."

aiabx said...

Sigh. Devo was one of my favourite bands back in the day. I don't want them associated with the pope in my mind.

But I agree about the Emperor Palpatine. If only his disciple would throw him down a fiery pit.

Meggles said...

I saw the Pope this summer while I was in Rome. I stayed towards the back...I don't know how far force lightning can reach.

ascian said...

It is so scary how much like Emperor Palpatine he looks...

reVAMPed said...

Awesome pic Paul...good job.

Flux said...

I accidentally saw the pope on TV today while I was at the bar... and I asked the waitress... "umm, is it just me, or is the pope wearing a big white flasher coat?" She said it seemed like something the pope would do.

Seriously. Imagine creepy old Palpatine in a white flasher-type trench coat. Have nightmares with me. ::shudder::

aimee said...

I found these on Google images, pretty darn funny.

By the way, great work Paul.

Here is my fave, the comparison of the pope and palpatine, spoooooky...

http://static.flickr.com/6/9958184_1d3029f0e7_m.jpg

http://www.goldmaniac.com/Pictures/benedict_xvi-769613.jpg

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/23000/Pope-Benedict-XVI--23247.jpg

http://www.jewishjournal.com/iranianamericanjews/uploaded_images/pope-hat-769068.jpg

http://aftermathnews.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/pope_benedict_xvi-evil.jpg

http://www.tmatos.com/uploaded_images/PopeBenedict122005-788196.jpg

That is just one creepy ass lookin' dude, even a santa hat doesn't help. My husband now wants to put a blog post together titled, "The many sides of Pope Benedict".

The pope is also a...lizard?
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y49/pspauld/lizardpope.jpg

Brandon said...

Enjoy!

http://www.fractallywrong.com/images/devopope.jpg

Brandon said...

Here, have another.

http://www.fractallywrong.com/images/emppope.jpg

I have too much time on my hands.

Paul said...

[Silentsanta, NZ]

I respectfully concede!
Great Job, Brandon. I trust you leveraged something more powerful than MS Paint?

Brandon said...

A dual BS in graphic design and fine art helps. So does Photoshop and about 30 minutes of time to waste.