Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Cake Hell

There is a place called Cake Hell...and I am in it. We had P1's "friend" party on Saturday - for which I iced 24 cupcakes, as so.


Cute, huh? I think so.
Anyway... It must have been the giddyness from getting the windows filmed (meaning I could sit in the kitchen longer) because I told P1 that I would do a triple layer cake, covered in buttercream and fondant for her "family party". Oy vey! Why do I promise these things? Fondant is beautiful to look at: but, a complete bitch to work with. And, buttercream is evil. E-V-I-L. I feel like a greased pig. *bitch, bitch, bitch*
Must go finish the cake. It's taunting and laughing at me for being an over-ambitious mother.
*pause in blogging to finish the evil cake*

This is what is known as a crumb coat. It's also known as the (@&*!)(*^#!&*@^ Coat. Seriously, I know that most bakers have no problem with this step, but I suck at it. I'm not a meticulous sort of person and the crumb coat under fondant requires that you be meticulous. Not to mention the fact that I hate making buttercream frosting. And, here is the finished product. The colors are kind of odd looking because of the lighting, but it's pink, peach, and misty green. And, yes...it's crooked.

Time spent baking cakes: 2 hours.

Time spent decorate cake: 3 hours.

Time it took the kids to name the cake "Ham and Cheese": 5 minutes.

In July, it's Costco cake all the way. Damn ungrateful possums.

OH! And, I received an e-mail from "some guy" (see last post) accusing me of slander towards Kirk Cameron. Interestingly, it's trail leads back to the production company that makes Way of the Master merchandise.



15 comments:

Ami said...

The cake is lovely.



And oh yeah, totally slanderous to report facts and then say what you think about it.

@@

Where do these dumbheads come from and who allows them to live

wineymomma said...

beautiful cakes, amazing momma!

Gotta read the slanderous comments!

Shar said...

That trail amuses me highly. And I'm also relieved as it means there is a good chance he was a one-shot.

The cakes are lovely. I'm still afraid of eating fondant after my mother told me how nasty her first one tasted, but I'm sure that's because it was a mass produced creature rather than a well-made cake :)

arana-suteshi said...

Mmmmm...cupcakes.

The cake looks cool. ^_^ I love buttercream, but fondant scares me. I do love how smooth and clean it looks, though.

madnessanddreams said...

You certainly are brave. Fondant is eeeeevil. Even my chef-to-be little brother cringes away from the stuff.
(But then, he usually finds baking to be beneath him, leaving the lowly cupcake making to me when I'm around.)

Katie said...

The "@3&$#* Coat" is what is refered to as getting the 2nd cupcake to look nice in my way of trying to decorate anything sweet. I've got almost an entire BFA in Fine Arts compelted but can I decorate a pastry? nooooo! You're stuff looks so much more great then mine would P-momma.

aimee said...

I took a Wilton cake decorating class for 4 weeks, I agree, buttercream is E-V-I-L-L-L-L-L. I got pretty good at the roses though and made my grandma's 81st birthday cake : )
The ones that are shaped and you have to do a gazillion startips all over, those suck and always come out awful.

I think your fondant cake came out very pretty, as did the cupcakes. I have yet to even taste fondant. I think that is one medium I will stay away from.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

You hit Number 1 on the Challenge Religion ratings. Just thought you should know

Psychodiva said...

When i was running my cake baking/decorating business I LOVED fondant- used to do demonstrations of how to make flowers and fruit etc etc - what I hated was the hard icing used for wedding cakes- oyvey! all that sanding and smoothing!

the cakes look wonderful and just to be able to sit in the kitchen and finish them must feel great!

Atheist in a mini van. said...

Shar: I'm still afraid of eating fondant after my mother told me how nasty her first one tasted, but I'm sure that's because it was a mass produced creature rather than a well-made cake :)

Yeah...I would hedge on eating mass produced fondant of any kind. Fondant is one of those things that, when right, is edible...when wrong, it's horrible.
There's not much wiggle room. I flavor mine with almond liqueor (sp?) so that it tastes more like marzipam.

Arena: The cake looks cool. ^_^ I love buttercream, but fondant scares me. I do love how smooth and clean it looks, though.

I like the way it looks, too. Once you figure out how to make the fondant, it's not TOO scary. It's just one of those things that you have to commit to. You really can't walk away from it and you have to make sure you've measured correctly to determine how much you'll need. OH! And, getting the buttercream perfect is a must.

You certainly are brave. Fondant is eeeeevil. Even my chef-to-be little brother cringes away from the stuff.

LOL! Oh good...I'm glad someone else understands the evilness of fondant.

The "@3&$#* Coat" is what is refered to as getting the 2nd cupcake to look nice in my way of trying to decorate anything sweet. I've got almost an entire BFA in Fine Arts compelted but can I decorate a pastry? nooooo! You're stuff looks so much more great then mine would P-momma.

THANK YOU! I'm actually pretty good at pastries and sweets. I make a mean blueberry cream cheese pastry.

Aimee - You'll have to teach me how to do roses. And, I don't mind the star tip cakes - I've done several. As long as you've got a good chair and soft frosting...without those two, you're right: star tipping is hard. I really want to learn the techniques for doing ribbons.

Psycho - I hate the hard, sugar frosting, too. I refuse to use the stuff. Although, I have made poured sugar glass for one cake I did. That was a bitch. I really want to learn how to do marzipam fruits (especially the air brushing or painting techniques).
And, yes...it's great to be able to sit in the kitchen. :)

Poodles said...

@Katie
I HAVE my BFA in fine arts. I still can't frosting a cake either so don't feel bad. I usually end up sticking it with the frosting knife at some point.

Fondant scares me too.

Betsy said...

Your cake is beautiful, p-momma! And Happy Birthday to P1!
My oldest sister makes beautiful cakes, for birthdays, weddings, anything - for my baby shower she made a 3D crib out of sugar. She's very talented and I'm very jealous. The most I've managed to do is the star-tip cakes.

Would you consider posting your recipe for blueberry cream cheese pastries? Sounds like something my husband would love! Thanks!

Berlzebub said...

I've worked on machines that weigh several tons and designed a cordless drill from the ground up. Stuff like that is all in a days work, for me. However, baking a cake scares the hell outta me, even if the mix and icing are from a box. You're much braver than I am.

PS. I didn't get a chance to send P1 a card, so I wrote her a post.

aimee said...

Pmomma, I would love to show you how to do roses, never been to California yet, maybe someday : )
I'm still working on the ribbon thing myself.

I'd like to take more classes so that I can learn how to do a basket weave.

If you look on my myspace page under my albums, I have some of my cakes on there.

Saurian200 said...

P-Momma,

I love how you seem to have draped a slice of pepperoni over the side of the finished cake.

As I always say, pepperoni makes everything better, even cake! :)