I'm in a serious funk.
(Although, a couple of links from Christine made me giggle. Duggars stumping for Huckabee. I never thought I'd see the Duggars mentioned in the same sentence as "crash a party".)
Why the funk? Well, I spent New Years Eve and New Years Day in the ER. Two visits. If that's not a bad omen for the coming year, then I'm not sure what is. I had thought that my sun sensitivity would get better in the winter. It hasn't. It's actually become more of a problem than it was prior to now. I walked outside at dusk, for about four minutes, and I had already started to burn and blister. Then, the pain came. Bone crushing pain. I'm so sick of this. This isn't living. I can't even go in my childrens' bedrooms right now. There rooms are sunny and wonderful (for them). I don't want to have them put up the make-shift plywood and black sheets that are in my room. That wouldn't be fair. But, what do I do? It's not fair to go in their room and then have to bolt for the ER or Urgent Care, either. I've also noticed that I am losing energy. I cooked pancakes with freshly baked cinnamon apples and farm potatoes on December 30th and I had to drag a chair in so I could sit and chop stuff (of course, my chin was at counter level). I'm tired of having to wait until the sun goes down to do things outside of my bedroom. I'm tired of cleaning the kitchen at nine pm. I'm tired of putting so much on my husband. I wish my kids could do normal things, in normal places, and have me with them. Homework in my bedroom, because the UV bounce is too high in the dining room is annoying. And, short of bajillion dollar renovations, I don't even know what to do. I have special make-up and I always wear long sleeves...but, how much longer will I be a prisoner in this house? I hate lupus.
I know you guys don't deserve to have all of this dumped on you. But, frankly, I don't know who else to whine to. I *won't* whine to my husband because he'd send us to the poor farm making renovations and buying gadgets. Ha! And, sadly, this isn't likely to get better, so I need to keep finding ways to adjust. Hopefully, I'll shake this off and be happy again. I hope you're all having a fantastic 2008!!!