Sunday, December 09, 2007

Counter poem

War on Christmas? - by possummomma

Twas the month before Christmas and all through the land,
the Christians were stirring: a war was at hand.
As the secular people hung lights and red bows,
the fundies were thinking up mass e-mail prose.

They picked up their Bibles and lobbied with fury
at atheists and lib'rals as cop, judge, and jury.
The fundies - they cried, with phenomenal flair,
at a war that just didn't appear to be there.

They spoke of no greetings and secular schools,
while expecting the nation to bend all its rules.
Sorry, poor Rachel, you're only a Jew,
the Christians 'round here can't be bothered with you.

Kwanzaa is new, and therefore, competing,
with Jesus and Santa and holy tent meetings.
"How horrid!", "How dour!", "How pathetic!" they cried,
"It's Christmas or nothing!" and "nothing" just died.

"No glorious mangers and tunes at low level?"
"Surely, this must be the work of the devil."
And, all of those secular wallets at stores,
are they turning away all those dollars at doors?


"Jesus is the reason" they'll scream, pray, and shout,
while whipping their wallets, with credit cards, out.

And, while they are screaming, I hope they remember,
that their Jesus was likely not born in December.

iPods and XBox, enemy toys!
The Bible's the gift for good girls and boys.
Oh wait! They have products to substitute in,
by Haggard, and Hovind, and someone named Hinn?

"Here Billy! A book that will help you stay true,
about pillage and rape and incestual crews."
But, woe to the Wii game with family fun.
Unless it's of Jesus, we shouldn't have none.

Tolerance, humans, and diversity,
are the wrong reasons to light up a tree?
Encouraging good will towards folk of all kind,
is not what dear Matthew and Luke had in mind.

It's a war on Christmas and the fundies are back,
to tell us that Jesus is under attack.
Cradles, and crosses, and creches galore!
But, worship him, worship him, worship him more.

In their zeal and devotion to make Jesus matter,
their cause has been hurt by their incessant chatter.
A war with no weapons or obvious sides,
is a war of no reason but blind fundie pride.

So, here's my proposal, for all human kind:
You celebrate your way and I'll party mine.
Praise Jesus and Mary and stars that shine bright;
I'll read to my kids and then turn out the light.

For the gifts of humanity, freedom for all,
means seeing a menorah a-light at your mall.
The lessons of Kwanzaa, it's principles seven
do nothing to prevent one a place in your heaven.

And, when we awake for our own celebrations,
it's okay that we'll build them on different foundations.
You have your Christmas and we'll have our own,
and we'll strive to feel pride in the friendships we've sown.



It needs some work, I know.

23 comments:

eyeslikesugar said...

lol! I love it. It speaks volumes.

Atheist in a mini van. said...

Thank you, thank you!!
My plan is to send it as a response to anyone who sends me that other poem.

FSMismyhero said...

This is a wonderful poem!!! I just had a huge argument with a fundie, that I thought was a friend, along these exact same lines. Thanks for helping me remember that I'm not the only person who feels this way.

P.S. Keep writing poems... you're great at it!

Atheist in a mini van. said...

Awwwww!! Thanks.

I just had a huge argument with a fundie, that I thought was a friend, along these exact same lines. Thanks for helping me remember that I'm not the only person who feels this way.

I'm sorry to hear that you had an argument. :( I think everyone who reads here has been in your position and it really does suck.

You're not the only one who feels as you feel. *hugs*

P.S. Keep writing poems... you're great at it!
It's all of the years of Seussian that you speak when you have four kids. LOL ;)

Atheist in a mini van. said...

I received this via e-mail:
"*appluase* Thank you for saying what needed to be said. Dayum', that's a fine poem. Do you mind if I circulate it?"

If you're reading this, then you don't have to ask for permission to circulate it. It's yours for the taking, just direct people back here to discuss it where possible.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

excellent, reposted with credit

Aerik said...

pmomma you know I love you, right?

Atheist in a mini van. said...

I do, Aerik. :)

Poodles said...

That is a great poem! I haven't gotten that other poem in a long time but if I do, I'll be sure to pass this along with credit and linkage!

Autonomous said...

Wow-that was amazing. I hate to point this out, but the last word should be 'sown,' not 'sewn.'

aimee said...

Excellent poem! I'm sure I will be spreading it around and get my husband to put it up on his blog, with due credit of course.

SecularEarth.com said...

Very well done as usual. Keep up the great work.

I have reposted on Secular Earth.

Russ said...

After reading it aloud about a dozen times, being more deeply moved each time through, let me say how proud and grateful I am that in some small way I am acquainted with its insightful author.

It's a beautiful piece of work. Thank you, PMomma.

Berlzebub said...

Very well done, P-Momma. I've given you some publicity to the 3-5 people who read my blog. Well done.

Dawn said...

This is great! I love it!

Taylor said...

this is wonderful!!! i'm definitely planning to share!

MysticalChicken said...

I love this. I'm linking it from my LiveJournal.

eyeslikesugar said...

lol have you seen this?
http://friendlyatheist.com/2007/12/10/you-have-to-admit-its-honest/

T&A said...

Excellent stuff! Thanks!

Stephen Littau said...

I love the poem PMomma! I passed on the link in response to a post on a blog I contribute to called The Liberty Papers

I also plan on re-posting your poem on my blog as well.

Mark In Irvine said...

This is very good!! I'd like to pass it around to ... everyone! Thanks. keep it up too - you may have a career in writing clever greeting cards!

delise said...

I died. I absolutely died.

Rev. T. Monkey said...

Wonderful poem! Thanks for writing it.