Sunday, November 18, 2007

Putting it in perspective.

Q: What could possibly be crazier than having seventeen children and totally ignoring the physical and emotional limitations of having litters?
Q: What is "more wrong" than having fifteen pregnancies in nineteen years?

A: Being pregnant with seventy-three (and climbing) babies at the same time.
Oh yeah. She's nuts. But, ya' know... at least her delusion isn't dumping diapers and poorly educated children into the world, so...who am I to judge.

Here's the recap for those who don't want to get mired down by the crazy.
Mother of multitudes (see link) drank some sort of magic cranberry juice, last year, that caused her to ovulate like a salmon. And, because every period is akin to an abortion, decided that she needed to make sure all the eggs were fertilized. Does she need sex for this? Hell no. She just gets pregnant. (NOTE: All of you who believe that this woman is whacked for that, and that alone, needs to rethink their devotion to Mary.) Now, because of the magic cranberry juice (which I believe is actually code for crack), this woman believes that she is capable of carrying super twins...and triplets....and quads...quints - Hell, I'm beginning to think the McCaughey septuplets emerged from her hoo-hoo. The woman who keeps this blog has, for the last two year, claimed to be pregnant with at least seventy-three different feti. Seventy-three was when I stopped counting...there may be more. You just never know with those sneaky, self-fertilizing feti. Now...I know some of you are saying, "Possummomma...this has got to be a joke." Oh. If it only were. The saga, like a badly written, George Lucas fanfic, continues...
You see. It's hard to keep track of that many babies. But, no problem...they name themselves. Once the babies are "conceived", they send messages to their mother and tell her what they should be named. I'm starting to feel that I need to cut the Duggars some slack, at this point.

But wait...there's more...
So, not only do the babies name themselves and manage to occupy one uterus: they're also very self-sacrificing. When mommy gets pregnant with baby number 192, it's a safe bet that one of the other fetuses will give up their spot to allow the next baby to live. Where's the Hallmark card for that one? Suck it, Hallmark!

And, like a late night Ginsu commercial,...we're not done yet.
These miraculous treasures will not be born in a hospital. Screw that. She's having a home birth...for seventy babies. An unassisted home birth. Which, I suppose, for the purposes of keeping up this charade in one's head is pretty integral. And, you know...because breastfeeding could be tricky, this mom has thought this whole feeding thing out. She really wanted rat's milk, because it's closer to human milk chemically, but....she's got to settle for goats milk because, well, while seventy-three breastfeeding children is odd, rat's milk is just pushing the envelope of sanity.

This, dear readers, is why it's not a good idea to indulge people in living, purely, in fantastical worlds of their own creation.

Hat tip to my friend, Amy, who pointed me to this chick.

21 comments:

Bride of Shrek said...

Sweet Jeebus, the woman is stark, raving bollocksy mad. It is truly frightening to think there's reaaly people out there in society.

Atheist in a mini van. said...

Isn't she though? My first thought was that the blog had to be some sort of joke blog. But, it's been an on-going, updated blog. Most people who start joke blogs don't have that level of dedication to the joke. My thought is that she's just fricken' looney tunes and letting her keep the blog is some bizarre form of therapy. I dunno'.

But, you know...as I said, in the scheme of things: how can we NOT say that religions encourage this sort of fantastical, alternative reality. I mean, how much more "out there" is it to claim that a baby was born to a virgin and was the son of an unprovable entity. How can we fault this woman for believing in the power of her magical fruit juice when millions of people beleive that ordinary table wine can become the blood of Christ? How can we say this woman is acting irrationally, in regard to her belief that the babies are sending her messages, when so many people claim to talk to God and receive responses? She truly believes that she's carrying around seventy-plus babies. We all know she's not. It's impossible. But, try telling her that. ;)

Christine said...

Seriously, all I can do is tilt my head and go "baroo?" like I'm a little dog because that made me very very confused. *crosses eyes*

Bride of Shrek said...

Probably the scariest aspect is that she seems to have two real children, one fostered and one biological (if you can believe anything she says). If there are two real kids in this house I feel terribly sorry for them having to grow up with such an obviously delusional person. She truly believes they're having birthdays in there because they're not ready to come out yet. Madness.

Then again she also says drugs during childbirth and Caesarians are really, really bad and evil and some sort of conspiracy by the medical profession. Hate to tell you luvvy, 70 odd kids through your vadge is gonna hurt like hell. Enjoy your drug free multi birth.

Taylor said...

Oh, wow. I don't know what to say. Seriously - I'm speechless. And very concerned about this person's mental health.

This level of dedication is quite alarming.

Perpetual Beginner said...

Dear Lord, I had run into this blog before but had not actually noticed the level of delusion (many of her posts sound quite normal).

The funny thing is that most of her delusions, taken separately, are possible (I.e. superfetation is possible if rare, home births are not as dangerous as usually thought, C-sections and pictocin are way overdone in most hospitals), but taken together (I want to have a natural homebirth of massive multiples), it becomes a whole new landscape of nuttery.

Of course some of her delusions taken separately are still ludicrous, but hey, she's gotta add to the crazy somewhere!

steelcobra said...

Wow. That's one hell of a clown car.

Anonymous said...

On her October 31st 2006 blog she wrote: "I have always resented being compartmentalized, institutionalized, minimized. I am an intelligent, rational, thinking creature, capable of studying, learning and making my own decisions."

Ummm... did anyone else catch the "institutionalized" in there? I think that explains it all!

Nicest Girl said...

I am so confused by that blog. I read a couple of them (the ones about her niece's fiance were sad... if true) and I still have no idea what is going on. She has born children... is she not having sex and thinking she is getting pregnant? I don't know what is going on!

SurvivorMama said...

I like how the one fetus moved off of her cervix when she asked him to.

Ian Adams said...

Something very important to its function just broke in my brain. Ow.

Gramomster said...

OMG... this is soooo reminiscent of my brother's schizophrenia it is not even funny. He thought that he'd been implanted with feti and that it was his duty to carry them until the MIBs came to take him to the facility to have them 'born' be C-section. But they weren't ready to come out (had a birthday), but them another of them died because he was too scared to let it get born, and for that he had to forfeit his life. and on, and on, and on... Yikes! Poor woman... and poor anybody who cares about her. That's gotta be seriously scary to witness. Hope somebody is at least trying to help... though if indeed schizophrenic, they are some of the most intractable of mental illness victims, and do not take well at all to the idea of needing to be treated. Just sad...

sara said...

Good GOD!! I seriously hope she's getting the help she desperately needs.

Oh and did you notice she's LDS? *wink*

JP said...

I can only assume that blog is a joke. No one can have that many screws loose.

erin said...

As soon as I saw the intro, I knew where you were going. I LOVE that woman. In the way that I love stark raving mad hobos because they make feel sane.

Wog the Bugger said...

Methinks there is a definite pathology here. Schizophrenia's a good bet. Perhaps multiple personality disorder. Her blog made me sad... Sick, sick lady.

Country Wife said...

Wow! Just...wow. Do you think there is really a husband? If so, shared psychosis?

I knew a woman once that claimed to have a miscarriage on a monthly basis. *rolls eyes* Her husband was totally clueless. She was also on the chunky side, which she claimed was 'the baby'. Certainly not caused by six bags of pork rinds per day. *gak!*

Amy N. said...

Ha ha! She sure is a special snowflake. My son told me his name, too. Of course he said it was John Jacob Jingleheimer-Smith. I didn't believe him for a minute.... ;)

Stew said...

On the subject of rat's milk and people who are barking mad - I give you Heather McCartney
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/20/nceleb120.xml
Who reckons we should drink rats or dogs milk in our tea to save the planet.

And another thing Possumomma - how dare you change the name of your blog? I thought you'd dropped off the edge of MoJoey's roll. I'm glad I've found you again.

Today's lesson in Orkish: "gsqkpsdl"

Gramomster said...

Okay, wow, just read that thing on Heather Mills. Talk about nutjob. Sheesh. The goat's milk thing is not viable either, at least for little tiny babies. Seems some truly granola types (some consider me close, but nah... I'm too urban... anyway... tangent) will suggest using goat's milk if a mom can't/won't breastfeed, or if baby has a hard time suckling. This is thought of as 'better' than formula, as it is more matched to human milk I guess. Nope. Reeeaaaallly bad idea. A friend of my mom's had my mom use goat's milk when she stopped nursing my youngest sister. Mom was 40, baby was eensy, maybe 4 months? I was a teen... baby lost weight, so that at 5 1/2 months she weighed 11 pounds. The two wacky old ladies noticed late one night in certain states of altered consciousness that the little thing's skin was just hanging off of her, and toook her up to the med center. Turns out that goat's milk is missing several crucial nutrients, and can't be adequately metabolized by little babies as a substitute for anything else.
Sheesh again... the amount of misinformation and misguided to truly ill people out there is mindboggling.

tina said...

I was curious to see how other people reacted to her posts, so I went through all of her posts and there are only two comments in over a year I think. The woman? that commented sounded nutty too.