Since Tuesday, I've learned a lot about our "John". For that, I have to thank a few people. 1) My friend who wishes not to be named in law enforcement. 2) "Cindy", for sharing her story with me. I asked her permission to share her experience and she was okay with my doing so, so long as I used a pseudonym for her. The reason I'm posting this is because I don't want anyone else to fear "John". I don't want him to do what he's done to Cindy and I to ANYONE else. Knowledge is power...so, here we go.
Cindy grew up in a QF home. Her parents are connected to two, very high profile QF families and she has relatives who work for IBLP (Institute for Basic Life Principles). Cindy, however, did not (and does not) follow the beliefs of the QFers. She has three children and a wonderful husband. Two years ago, Cindy made a journal entry about JimBob and Michelle Duggar. And, in truth, she sent me a copy of the now deleted journal and I have to say that it was very fair. Having grown up in that subgroup of Christianity, she really identified with some of the Duggar girls and her blog entry voiced some concerns for their future. It also should be noted that Cindy lives within a thirty mile radius of the Tontitown, Arkansas (home of the Duggars). It is Cindy's recollection that, within a few days of her posting her review of one of the specials, she started getting e-mails and comments from a man calling himself "J.R. Benjamin". For those who have been reading this blog for a while, you might recall that when John R started posting here, he used the pseudonym of "John Raybenhaus". JR posted numerous comments on her blog, mostly to tell her that she was an evil, horrible mother for leaving her family and her family's faith. And, at some point, JR figured out that she lived fairly close to him. At that point, the e-mails stopped...but, the REAL MAIL started. It was...random, according to Cindy. Sometimes, it was difficult to tell what was from JR because it was, usually, just pamphlets and leaflets that were trying to encourage her to attend seminars and come back to the "church" that her parents were in. And, if it hadn't been for a very small detail, she very well may have missed the fact that these were from JR. Her husband, while looking over one of the brochures, noted a very small, almost illegible "JR" written in one corner. They got about twenty of these mailings over a three month period. Shortly after another Duggar special aired, Cindy wrote another blog entry that was less kind than the first, but still fairly reasonable and not at all hateful. The e-mails started again. And, the frequency of pamphlets picked up. JR decided to take pictures of Cindy's family and make a website (sound familiar?). Unfortunately for Cindy, he showed the website to his family and they in turn showed it to friends. Cindy and her family were recognized by people in their town and church members who gave them a very tough time about saying anything negative about QF. It boiled to a head when it was discovered that John had used a software program to make continuous attempts at ferreting out her password. He was only caught when Cindy noticed that some of her posts were disappearing and changed her password, only to get an almost instantaneous response from someone posing as JR's child. I guess JR realized, with the changing of the password, that the jig was up. Cindy's husband confronted "JR" and threatened him with a restraining order. The site with the pictures was taken down and JR backed off. However, the damage had been done. Her kids were teased and ridiculed by people in JR's circle of friends.
Since then, Cindy (a very brave woman, I might add) keeps a really close eye on blog entries written about any number of QF families. John is a busy, busy boy. To her knowledge, she's managed to find him at two other blogs before mine. After I made the post about John hijacking my blog, she contacted me by e-mail to give me necessary information and some much needed support.
John has used a few pseudonyms, but they all seem to revolve around the names John, Ray, and Ben(jamin). His real name is not John, but I've been advised not to share his real name. What really matters is the fact that he has a chronic problem with e-harrasment. He is well acquainted with the Duggars and other QF/IBLP families. He sees it as a personal mission to defend them. He lives to intimidate and claims to do it in God's name. Fortunately, he's never done anything physically threatening...and, based on Cindy's husband's estimation, he isn't physically intimidating in person. And, in fact, now that he's been outed and was presented with the fact that he would find himself under a restraining order if he persisted in bothering Cindy's family, he - quite literally- will run the other way if he sees them coming.
His whole gig about having a large family is bullshit. He has two kids - a daughter and a son who are in their teens. Interestingly, for all of his talk about modesty and virtue, his kids live with their mother and are not QFers. So...all of his big talk was complete crap. This explains why we never got pictures.
So...that's the story. It is the opinion of most that he'll likely not come back since he's been caught. He tends to run from any sort of confrontation and/or "outing".
Thank you, everyone, for going through this with me and sending such great information. You guys are awesome. And, Cindy is amazing. I hope she starts posting here. She's not an atheist, but I think we have a kinship and she's not threatened or upset by atheist chatter. In the end, JR/John did something I'm sure he never, ever anticipated doing. He forged a friendship between an atheist and a theist for the common good.