Wednesday, November 07, 2007

John's real story.

Since Tuesday, I've learned a lot about our "John". For that, I have to thank a few people. 1) My friend who wishes not to be named in law enforcement. 2) "Cindy", for sharing her story with me. I asked her permission to share her experience and she was okay with my doing so, so long as I used a pseudonym for her. The reason I'm posting this is because I don't want anyone else to fear "John". I don't want him to do what he's done to Cindy and I to ANYONE else. Knowledge is power...so, here we go.

Cindy grew up in a QF home. Her parents are connected to two, very high profile QF families and she has relatives who work for IBLP (Institute for Basic Life Principles). Cindy, however, did not (and does not) follow the beliefs of the QFers. She has three children and a wonderful husband. Two years ago, Cindy made a journal entry about JimBob and Michelle Duggar. And, in truth, she sent me a copy of the now deleted journal and I have to say that it was very fair. Having grown up in that subgroup of Christianity, she really identified with some of the Duggar girls and her blog entry voiced some concerns for their future. It also should be noted that Cindy lives within a thirty mile radius of the Tontitown, Arkansas (home of the Duggars). It is Cindy's recollection that, within a few days of her posting her review of one of the specials, she started getting e-mails and comments from a man calling himself "J.R. Benjamin". For those who have been reading this blog for a while, you might recall that when John R started posting here, he used the pseudonym of "John Raybenhaus". JR posted numerous comments on her blog, mostly to tell her that she was an evil, horrible mother for leaving her family and her family's faith. And, at some point, JR figured out that she lived fairly close to him. At that point, the e-mails stopped...but, the REAL MAIL started. It was...random, according to Cindy. Sometimes, it was difficult to tell what was from JR because it was, usually, just pamphlets and leaflets that were trying to encourage her to attend seminars and come back to the "church" that her parents were in. And, if it hadn't been for a very small detail, she very well may have missed the fact that these were from JR. Her husband, while looking over one of the brochures, noted a very small, almost illegible "JR" written in one corner. They got about twenty of these mailings over a three month period. Shortly after another Duggar special aired, Cindy wrote another blog entry that was less kind than the first, but still fairly reasonable and not at all hateful. The e-mails started again. And, the frequency of pamphlets picked up. JR decided to take pictures of Cindy's family and make a website (sound familiar?). Unfortunately for Cindy, he showed the website to his family and they in turn showed it to friends. Cindy and her family were recognized by people in their town and church members who gave them a very tough time about saying anything negative about QF. It boiled to a head when it was discovered that John had used a software program to make continuous attempts at ferreting out her password. He was only caught when Cindy noticed that some of her posts were disappearing and changed her password, only to get an almost instantaneous response from someone posing as JR's child. I guess JR realized, with the changing of the password, that the jig was up. Cindy's husband confronted "JR" and threatened him with a restraining order. The site with the pictures was taken down and JR backed off. However, the damage had been done. Her kids were teased and ridiculed by people in JR's circle of friends.

Since then, Cindy (a very brave woman, I might add) keeps a really close eye on blog entries written about any number of QF families. John is a busy, busy boy. To her knowledge, she's managed to find him at two other blogs before mine. After I made the post about John hijacking my blog, she contacted me by e-mail to give me necessary information and some much needed support.

John has used a few pseudonyms, but they all seem to revolve around the names John, Ray, and Ben(jamin). His real name is not John, but I've been advised not to share his real name. What really matters is the fact that he has a chronic problem with e-harrasment. He is well acquainted with the Duggars and other QF/IBLP families. He sees it as a personal mission to defend them. He lives to intimidate and claims to do it in God's name. Fortunately, he's never done anything physically threatening...and, based on Cindy's husband's estimation, he isn't physically intimidating in person. And, in fact, now that he's been outed and was presented with the fact that he would find himself under a restraining order if he persisted in bothering Cindy's family, he - quite literally- will run the other way if he sees them coming.

His whole gig about having a large family is bullshit. He has two kids - a daughter and a son who are in their teens. Interestingly, for all of his talk about modesty and virtue, his kids live with their mother and are not QFers. So...all of his big talk was complete crap. This explains why we never got pictures.

So...that's the story. It is the opinion of most that he'll likely not come back since he's been caught. He tends to run from any sort of confrontation and/or "outing".

Thank you, everyone, for going through this with me and sending such great information. You guys are awesome. And, Cindy is amazing. I hope she starts posting here. She's not an atheist, but I think we have a kinship and she's not threatened or upset by atheist chatter. In the end, JR/John did something I'm sure he never, ever anticipated doing. He forged a friendship between an atheist and a theist for the common good.

*closure*

29 comments:

lynn's daughter said...

What you need, dear, in the event that this happens again, is not a friend in law enforcement...it is a friend who is a hacker. Seriously. Look hard, and you'll find some. Get fucktard's password. Fuck with his blog. Fight fire with fire; replace lines in his blog with lines such as, "step away from the delusion, folks. There is no sky god." Just a thought.

Paul said...

[silentsanta, NZ]

She might already have a friend or two who are hackers, whether she knows it or not ;)

But no, I'd disagree with you, lynn's daughter. No need to sink to his level.

Well done for sorting that out pMomma :) Please allow me to extend my -belated- sympathies for dealing with yet another near-basketcase. Honestly, where do they come from? It seems unusual in my part of the woods- Is there some sort of weirdo factory in the U.S.? I mean, apart from the churches...

Cairnarvon said...

"What you need, dear, in the event that this happens again, is not a friend in law enforcement...it is a friend who is a hacker."

People like you give people like me a bad name as much as script kiddies do.

Remember, resorting to vigilante justice means it'll be far harder to go to the authorities about this.

Maggie Rosethorn said...

Thanks for the post, Pmomma. You know we were all wondering. And how wonderful of "Cindy" and her husband to 1)stand up to John and 2)contact you and give you the support they did.

So John the "oh so perfect" is divorced? (My inference since you said his kids "live with their mother".) Wonder what his god has to say about that? Wonder if his (ex?)wife has a restraining order out against him because he is such an idiot?

Thank goodness there are people out there, atheists and theists, who know that what a person IS is more important than what, if any, god/dess they believe in.

Sara (sassy) said...

Kudos to Cindy and her husband for confronting the idiot and she should be commended for coming forward to you, to help get this knucklehead taken out.

I'm glad you've been able to find out info (ammunition) about "John" and find out the truth about the weasel.

I also find it hysterical that his children do not live with him!! For all his holier-than-thou preaching, I find it gleeful that he isn't married. *rolls eyes*

Poodles said...

What a pussy!

Arkansas must breed crazies. One of the fundies who visits my blog blogs out of Bentonville Arkansas, and one of his buddies is in Tontitown. Must be something in the water.

shaun said...

This is some scary shit, P-momma! Seriously. It's stuff like this that makes me keep my mouth shut. In fact, just the other day, there was a letter to the editor of my local paper espousing the typical fallacious ID arguments trying to spark an IDvEvo debate (so '05, I know). I wanted to toss off a response so badly, but now that I have a one-year-old daughter, I have to keep the safety and security of the rest of my family in mind. I had responded to a letter once before and was flooded with all kinds of mail. Since it's not hard to find where I live, it was kind of creepy that people would go through the trouble. I wish I had the guts to be as outspoken. I really do...

Kat said...

Thank you for bringing it to our attention where "John" lives is residing from and all this wonderful information P-Momma. This is going to make me more careful about speaking about my job, and location here.

synchroswimr said...

Wow. What a crazy. I am happy that you have done what you have done.

And hooray for Cindy and her husband for helping you out. That would take some guts.

AlisonM said...

Yay! See, there are always people there to stick up for you when you need it.

And why, oh why, isn't it surprising that john lives a lifestyle so different from the one he preaches? Could it be that we are becoming inured to the two-faced right wing religiot? The congressmen fighting child pornography while making their own with pages and underage prostitutes. . .the high-ranking preachers engaging in drugs and kink while their wives hold down the fort at home. . .the ranting fundie troll who likes furry porn talking about modesty, extolling the virtues of subjugated, baby-popping women while being unable to keep his own wife "in line".

P-Momma, your blog has many virtues, and while it's no fun to be stalked by the loonies, you should be proud that you played a big part in exposing them for what they are. Other people who might have become victims of these sick men will be spared because you stuck up for yourself and told the stories to the world. In addition, you're teaching your kids a valuable lesson about how to deal with scary people - with bravery, maturity, and the legal and investigative tools available to all rational people.

Christine said...

Thanks for sharing that enlightening story. Yay to Cindy and her family and to you for standing up to John! This man has ISSUES (understatement of the century!)

Chris said...

Thank you Cindy for your help in uncovering Johnny Boy for what he really is. Somehow, though, I'm not surprised in the least. He's been a known liar since day one, and one who would stoop as low as he could go to "make his point" (or, what he saw as making his point). He's not married, only has two kids, they aren't living with and aren't QF? HA! Surprise, surprise. AlisonM hit it on the head, why isn't it surprising that somebody like him lives a life completely different than the one he preaches? Trying to deal with your own inadequacies, Johnny Boy? Trying to make yourself look better in the eyes of your lord, since you couldn't seem to force your kids to keep the faith, or make your now ex-wife submissive enough to endure whatever crap you dished out in real life? You, and people like you, disgust me. Oh, and one last thing Johnny Boy...I've never watched anything on the Duggars. Thank you for this very enlightening lesson on what QF really is like.

PM, thanks for helping expose another person like this. Hopefully, with at least 2 people standing up against him, his next victim won't get to the "password stealing" stage. Since he won't be back, though, let's move on to business as usual. We've learned some lessons from this episode, but I see no need to dwell on it. IMO, that gives him more power.

Christine said...

Didn't John claim to be a psychologist at one point or is my memory making things up?

ang said...

Thanks for the update, pmomma. It's great that you found a new friend, too.
And as a dear friend used to say after a trying time, "What did we learn from this?"
We could gripe and moan, but I think we all learned a little about keeping passwords secure. And we learned that help can come from strangers.
I like to think there is still hope for this world, even tho I recognize there are still alot of crazies out there.

Saurian200 said...

P-Momma,

I am very happy to hear that this long STRANGE episode has finally come to an end.

It doesn't suprise me at all that his life doesn't match his ideology. Maybe that's why he lashes out so viciously at anyone who disagrees. I think he is trying to make up for not living up to the ideology by being it's defender.

If nothing else, I think we have all learned some things from this affair. So that's something.

As my brother once said, "All of life can be measured in story value." All I can say is that you got a lot of stories from this one.

JP said...

Wow, so interesting, yet so sad on his part. He must be lonely. I am not familiar with these groups that you mentioned but you have provided some homework for me to do. As Shaun stated, this is and can be quite scary. There are too many nuts out there. Never thought it would get this far fearing you might have to deal with it posting on a blog.

ShadesOfGrey said...

All I can say is...whoa...what a bizarre story and turn of events. I'm so happy that you and your family are all right, P-Momma. Cindy and her family are to be commended for their bravery in fighting this wacko.

It never ceases to boggle me when supposed theists behave in ways that Christ never would approve of (and they claim to follow him and believe he was real). And it's really sad that many of us live in fear of retribution from people who are supposed to live by "thou shalt not kill" and "do unto others". Whazzup with that?

Vamp DiVerL said...

"Cindy", gets my applause today. Thank goodness there are caring people in the world, be theist or atheist.

Lynn's daughter, I get were you're coming from. My idea/thoughts are, it's ok to think it, but not actually to do it. I can think of all kinds of stuff I'd like to do to people who are like this, and that gives me some satisfaction. I just know it's wrong to follow through on the thoughts. Sometimes it's pretty hard too.

Perpetual Beginner said...

Well, that would explain why he's so okay with the idea of his wife dying in childbirth. What a very strange fellow.

I'm glad you were able to find out what was going on, and hurray for Cindy for helping. She's welcome to my name anytime she needs a pseudonym.

SecularEarth.com said...

wow, what a great community. Such morality in this group. Oh wait we cant have morality without god. Anyways well said and I hope its the end of that guy.

steelcobra said...

I think he subscribes to this magazine: http://www.fstdt.com/funnyimages/uploads/403.jpg

Sue Doe-Nim said...

http://deskfullofclutter.blogspot.com/2007/11/award.html

I nominate you for this wacky award.

So head on over there and show the guy some luvin'

Sue Doe-Nim said...

Oh and FYI I'm a theist who believes in G-d given logic and science.

So I think he's totally into you.

And I love your writing.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

You lose a fundi and I gain one.

Good to see that you are all okay. I think it is wonderful the community you have around your blog PM - a testament to your writing and to life you lead.

redd said...

Glad it's all worked out..." John" is seriously disturbed, and was starting to creep me out!

I saw this comic this morning, and immediately thought of this situation....I don't know if I can link to it legally; if not, please take it off.

http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/index.html

It's the Pearls Before Swine comic for November 9th..."John" is, of course and appropriately, Rat. ;o)

Cassady said...

d00drz

I have some pretty crazy people writing stuff about me on bathroom walls and on MySpace, but nothing compared to "John". Eek!

Oh, well. At least you got it all taken care of, and he is gone. Hurrah!

Summer Squirrel, FCD said...

What a nice ending to an otherwise weird and disturbing experience.

I've had a couple of fundies on my blog. They are fun to mess with! I find they don't stay long enough....

Tex said...

All those mentions of JR, I thought I was reading the script for a resurrection of that old soapie "Dallas". It'd probably make a good storyline too, and just as bizarre and nasty as some of the things on t.v.
Some people are just plain nasty.

Psychodiva said...

just catching up with this having been ill the last few days- what a numpty as we like to say here in Blighty :) I should start on the Duggars and see if he has the wherewithall to get over here and try us out - British Bulldog is not such a myth you know :)
well done and Kudos to Cindy- nice to know there is some morality among christians after all