Thursday, November 01, 2007

Hovind's Blog

Ok. Who decided it would be a good thing to let Hovind blog from the pokey? Whoever it was needs to rethink the whole public relations aspect of this decision. I hope that Kent is receiving the psychiatric help he needs in prison.

He has a new (10/28) blog entry.
You know...if you have to start your blog entries with;
Written by Kent E. Hovind, May 20, 2007(Written during my eight-day stay at the
United States Penitentiary Maximum Security Holding Unit in Atlanta—one of the
worst prisons in the system)

..., then it goes without saying that there are some issues. Judging by the date, I'm wondering if the fact that they've, essentially, put his blog into syndication means anything? Will they tear after us all when we don't use his blog as he thought we might?
He starts his post...
Dear Ebedmelech,
Thank you for what you did for my preacher, Jeremiah. I saw the whole thing, son. You did great! I know your life has not been the best. I saw when you were sold into slavery and taken from your family. I saw when you were made a eunuch and your dreams of marriage and family were destroyed. I know some people here look down on you just because you are black. I know you have many good reasons to hate life. Thank you for not being bitter!
Ebedmelech is a biblical eunoch (a man without a penis or testicles) and a trusted palace official. official. His claim to fame, if I'm correct, was in rescuing Jeremiah from a festering cistern of muck and pestilence. In layman's' terms, they threw Jeremiah into a well because he was a "doomsayer" (translation: he tried to scare the Jews). So, to sum up: Ebedmelech was a dickless hero of Chicken Little. Kent Hovind identifies himself to this dickless wonder boy.
Grrrrreat. Hovind and Edelmelech are taking it for the team.

I also know that my preacher Jeremiah is not very popular right now. I know
Nebuchadnezzar is camped around the city. I sent him (Jeremiah 38:3). I know the
people hate Jeremiah for his preaching about surrender, but that’s what I told
him to preach.

Nebuch' (I'm not spelling his full name every time, sorry) was pretty fond of tearing apart cities. Nebuch also fantasized about creating the biggest and best idol for public display and worship. And, if people do not worship the idol, old Nebuch has them cast into an inferno where they are saved by an angel. Jeremiah considered Nebuch to be the "destroyer of nations". Naturally, Kent Hovind would love for someone to come in and rescue his ass, too. Hovind would love for the federal government, oops...I mean, Nebuch, to fall at the hands of Jeremiah.

I saw when Pashur and his evil men threw my preacher into the dungeon full of
mire. I heard them laugh at him struggling in the filth. I knew their very

You see, Jeremiah was a bullfrog...damn. Whoops, sorry! Jeremiah wanted to talk to Pashur about his indulgence, materialism, and inequity (the absense of spiritual morals and values). So, Jeremiah was like every Bible thumping, sanctamonious asshole who had to run his mouth about other peoples' lives and call direct attention to the error of the lives. Jeremiah told Pashur that he would have to face judgement (and one guesses that the message wasn't much different from John R's, in that the "immoral" people would be cast into hell). Pashur stuck Jeremiah in the stocks and ordered him to be beaten. So, as you can see, Hovind feels like he's walking in Jeremiah's shoes...they poor, tormented guy. *rolls eyes* Last time I checked, the US Maximum Security holding pen in Florida wasn't exactly a public beating or stock... it's fucking bound to be better than being restrained in the stocks while a man whips you.

I also saw your compassion on him, Ebed. I know you are all so weak, it took
thirty of you to pull him out. Thanks for thinking of the old rags for padding
so that the rope wouldn’t hurt him. That was very kind.

Is this code for "Someone spring me out of this hell hole. The bullfrog jumps at midnight." It would appear that Hovind is expecting his congregation to free him from the pokey.

Ebed, this city is going to be destroyed, but you will be spared (Jeremiah
39:16-18). I’m also preparing a home for you up here with Me that is more than
you could dream about in a million years.

Translation: don't worry my gullible flock. This earthly life is only a temporary trial and God will send another disaster or plague,...or both. Soon, all of the immoral and evil people who treat Hovind badly will be shown who's boss. In fact, because Hovind is such a self-centered, egotistical jerk... he, and anyone who helps him, will be rewarded.

Keep up the good work, son, and keep watching out for ways to help My
preachers. They need guys like you.

Delusions of grandeur, perhaps? Kent's even nuttier than I previously thought. I can't believe this asswipe has the odacity to act like he's persecuted or betrayed - especially after what he did to the RRS and other atheist bloggers who'd used the "free and distributable" vids he put out. Does this guy have any ethics?


AlisonM said...

Oh, he's nuts, for sure. He started off as a wack-job, I'm sure confinement has done nothing good for his mental state. First, he's had to delude himself rigorously in order to find support for his crazy sermons in the bible. Then he has to deal with people pointing out not only the logical fallacies of his "science" all the time, but also the multiple times he directly contradicts himself. It was good preparation, though, for trying to delude himself enough that his personal finances were tax exempt that he could also delude the IRS. While his phone calls to his wife tell otherwise, he still has to pretend he has no idea of what he did wrong. So he blogs from jail, still singing this song, but he's working more on deluding his followers, who have already proven pretty easy marks. He has to keep himself visible, so his sheeple will continue to contribute to the "cause". (More of their money down the drain. . .) When it comes to the conversations with god, though, you can really see the cracks in his sanity widening. God tells him exactly what he wants to tell his followers, and he has this extraordinary steel-trap memory that allows him to recount it word for word. Could he be aiming for a transfer to a mental hospital because prison conditions are too difficult? I'd lay odds that answer's yes.

trust n truth said...

That man seems more and more insane every time I read something of his. I especially love his chat-style dialogues with "god". But more, I feel so very sorry for anyone who actually believes and follows him.

Milo Johnson said...

One can only hope that Hovind is, indeed, "taking one for the team" during his stay in the pokey...

Joe said...

I think Kent's crazy like a fox. Anything to not have to get a real job and punch a time clock.

And here's hoping for the same thing Milo is, Milo you're killing me.

Alyssa said...

"the fool has said in his heart there is no God" look the Bible covers every thing, even you guys! just kidding of course. I have to admit I was a skeptic and an evolutionist before I watched the Hovind videos but they raised some very good questions in my mind. Like if there is no God then why are we here? Where did we come from? and where are we going? I know once I discovered there was a God I had to decide if I would obey him or not. If I decided to obey him I would have to change my life style and that would be difficult. In fact some people will claim there is no God so that they don't have to face the reality that we will be judged by him and he knows every thing we have been up to.
I was skeptical until I heard someone say just think for a second "do you know every thing?" I thought no. Then he said "we will just pretend for a second you know half of every thing, could there be God, heaven and Hell in the half you don't know?" I thought yea and if I'm right that there is no God than I have nothing to lose, but if I'm wrong and there is a God I'm going to go to hell forever...if I don't get saved. I don't know about you guys but I know I have been wrong before, so I guess the question you have to ask your self is have I ever been wrong and am I willing to go to Hell and burn forever and ever if I am wrong?