Wednesday, April 04, 2007

100th Post!! - Holy Binky, Batman!

This has been a rough, rough week in possumland. Without going into great detail, because this IS the 100th post and this should be a celebratory occasion, I've been dealing with some health issues. So...please forgive the brevity of this post, but I just had to share...

When Possum#3 was born, after YEARS of trying and loss, we were just so flippin' happy to have her alive and well, that we actually had her baptized. We were still "Catholic" by identification. So,...on February 1st, 2003, our family and friends gathered for a private baptismal mass. P#3 was clothed in a gorgeous white, heirloom gown. Our eldest possums were spruced up and looking cute. The priest was/is a wonderful man (despite our disagreement on theological matters, I still respect him for the way he has lived his life). Fr. Craig involved ALL the children who came to the baptism in the mass. P#1 lit the candles. P#2 held the oils. At one point, he had all of the kids gather round P#3 and say a quick blessing. From an emotional, warm-fuzzy standpoint...it was a very nice little ceremony. However,...P#3 wasn't having A THING TO DO WITH THE WHOLE DEAL. She was born premature and was only about eight pounds when she was baptized (at four months old)...but, man...did she squall. Maybe I should've taken that as a hint to what was to come? LOL She was pretty irate when Fr. Craig put the Oil of Chrism on her head. I thought we were going to have to find an old priest to go along with this young priest. (I hope someone gets that reference.) Anyway... as he was holding her over the baptismal font, Mr. Possum and P#3's "Godmother" were trying to plug a pacifier in her mouth. They succeeded just long enough for the priest to grab her and take her to the alter to do the "Lion King" style presentation to the assembled parishioners (you know, hoist her over his head, above the alter). I was waiting for a decrepit monkey with a walking stick to come out from behind the alter. Anyway... as he was bringing her back to us, and commenting on how he "wished they were all that light", P#3 - in an amazing and unprecedented fete' of infant rebellion and ability - spit her pacifier out of her mouth. It flew, in a dramatic arch, from her mouth to the baptismal font where...ploop... it sank to the bottom. Of course, all of the kids who were gathered around the font started to giggle incessantly and the more reverent adults (in the audience) were gasping!! I was trying NOT to laugh, as was Mr. Possum. The priest could've subbed in for that guy who's in every Gary Marshall movie ("Pretty Woman", "Princess Diaries", etc.,.). He just reached in, up to his elbow, grabbed the pacifier and said, "It happens all the time." P#2 said, "So...is the 'binky' holy now?" The priest said, "Yes. Technically."
So...as soon as we returned home, P#2 disappeared for a few moments. He emerged holding the binky and blowing on it. He'd taken a Sharpee and written "Holy Binky - 2/1/03" on it. :) LOL He then said, wide-eyed, "You could kill demons with this now!!" and plugged it in P#3's mouth.

Why bring it up? I was out in the kitchen, makin' some toast, and P#3 brought it to me (she's now four) and said, "Mom...what's this mean?" I had to share the story of the "holy binky" and we all had a good laugh. I'm surprised the darned thing doesn't burst into flames whenever I handle it. :)

16 comments:

paulh said...

The old priest - Max von Sydow?

Sean the Blogonaut said...

Sounds like the priest had seen it all before.

I remember one Christmas that a women stood up in front of the pulpit and flashed the priest(she wasn't a full bucket of chips) in the middle of his sermon. He didn't bat an eyelid or skip a beat.

Your kids are cute, but then you knew that.

Virginia aka Ginny said...

Holy binky Batman!

David W. said...

Hoo boy, I'm having to blink back the tears! This is the kind of story I need to start every morning with. I'm just glad I didn't spit hot tea all over my keyboard!

Vincent said...

"I thought we were going to have to find an old priest to go along with this young priest. (I hope someone gets that reference.)"
I did. Class.
Jason Miller was your pastor?

Kilted Dad said...

Maybe you should enshrine it and charge $2 for the faithful to see The Holy Binky !

Tone said...

Re: "Maybe you should enshrine it and charge $2 for the faithful to see The Holy Binky!"

Or better yet, say you see the face of jeebus in it and sell it on EBAY for a small fortune!

Virginia aka Ginny said...

For some reason I can't get the picture of Maggie Simpson out of my head. Did that happen to anyone else when visualizing this binky story?

Rachel said...

How did you manage to keep track of that binky for four years?!? I can't seem to keep one for four days!!!

Atheist in a mini van. said...

How did you manage to keep track of that binky for four years?!? I can't seem to keep one for four days!!!
It was tucked up, on a shelf, with the bottle of holy water and candle (from her baptism). I had forgot about THAT box of stuff... but, obviously, one of the kids found it.

Now I'm torn... experiments on holy water, anyone?

Kilted Dad said...

I could drink it, then we'd be able to know if my t-shirt http://www.goats.com/store/tshirts.html# is lying...

Alyx said...

Oh My Gosh... that would make such a good story foundation.

Actually, I remember a short story I read decades ago about some special river-propelled prayer wheel up in the Nepalese mountains falling off its spindle, thus stopping its mystical "holding the devil at bay" powers. The devil, who was living his de-powered life as a stage magician, was in the middle of a magic act when it happened. He Transformed In All His Infernal Glory, right there on stage with the disappearing pigeon box, laughing out his EEEEvul laugh in front of the horrified audience, while Hellish Flames Leapt! about his Transformed Horrible Visage. But his audience volunteer, being a quick-thinking albeit mischeivous young lad, pulled out his hidden water pistol and Doused The Flames! And the Devil Himself! Thus vanquishing the Devil and all his hideous world-dominating plans. How, do you ask? Our enterprising young hero had snuck into the sacristy earlier that day at Mass and loaded his water pistol from the Holy Water Font. The devil, realizing what had happened, did the only thing left in his power to do -- he blanked out everyone's memory of what had just happened, and finished up the disappearing pigeon act. And unfortunately for Our Enterprising Young Hero, his parents later found out about his sacriledgeous act of ammo thievery, gave him a sound spanking, and sent him to bed without supper.

I just imagine Maggie Simpson vanquishing the devil with her Holy Binky in a similar situation somehow... (since Possum #3 is too old to use one now...).

Carlie said...

Oh, what a great story. My younger son had the instincts of an animal planning for winter when we were going through removal of the binky. For months every time I swore I had them all over the house, he'd turn up with another one he'd stashed away somewhere. When we moved a year after that I still found them in nooks and crannies.

tina said...

I remember seeing a binky that was painted like buck teeth, it was funny looking.

Elisheva Hannah Levin said...

That's a great story!

Hope you get to feeling better, Possum Mama!

Carla said...

I have some plants that got frost bite over the winter, do you think the holy water would help? Nah, I didn't think so either.