Saturday, March 24, 2007

Nooo!! Please, think of the defenseless possums!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070324/tv_nm/osmond_dc "NEW YORK (Reuters) - Polish your platform boots, squeeze into those flared pants.
Donny Osmond and his five brothers may be planning a comeback"

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Disco is dead. DEAD I TELL YOU!

"Osmond, a 1970s teen heart-throb who is back in the British charts with his 55th album, said on Friday the brothers are considering a reunion special on television."
It took him fifty-five albums to talk someone into a "come back" special. Need I say more? As for the heart-throb part: "I did not have sexual relations with that Tiger Beat, incentive pillow case." -Possummomma
Christ on a cracker... it's not bad enough that he has to do a come-back special, but now I'm going to have to endure the teasing from Possum#1 and Possum#2 --- they've read my old diaries.

"The family has been talking," Osmond, 49, the undisputed star of the family, told reporters in a teleconference to promote a new U.S. television show that he is hosting.
Saying that you're the "undisputed star" of a Mormon family is kind of oxymoronic, isn't it? I mean, to be "undisputed" would imply that there were actually disputes. And,...ahhhhhhhh! He's going to be hosting a show now, too. Oh, the humanity...

"I haven't done a show with my brothers for 25 years or so. We are talking about doing a TV special, and maybe something with (sister) Marie, but nothing is locked in yet."

And,...maybe it's just best if it stays that way.

"The Osmond Brothers scored a string of pop hits, including breakthrough song "One Bad Apple" along with "Just Like A Yo-Yo" and "Hold Her Tight" in the 1970s."
Dude. They just totally dissed Donny and Marie. *boggle* What about "I'm a Little Bit Country" and "Puppy Love"? Furthermore, I hardly think that those songs could be considered a "string of pop hits". More like, a string of albums that sold really, really well in Utah.

"At the height of their popularity in the United States and Britain during "Osmania," fans chased them everywhere. Osmond recalled how one admirer tried to mail herself to him and was found in a box at the post office.
Osmania? "Ozzy-mania"? "Osama-mania." Yeah.. somehow I suspect it's all a vast conspiracy. ;) (JUST KIDDING!)
*giggle* Someone tried to mail themselves to Donny Osmond? Was the admirer alive when they found her?


The other original band member, Alan, appears rarely as he suffers from multiple sclerosis, while Marie, with whom Donny hosted a successful television show for four years in the 1970s, makes and sells dolls.
Are they Eeeeeviel dolls?
I love how they put in one little line about the sick Osmond and then move right back to Donny and Marie's successes.
And... in addition: does NO ONE else recall when they introduced Donny and Marie as "the first couple of Utah!" at the Salt Lake Olympic Games? That was...weird!

Donny Osmond has been the most successful at building a career away from the family, who are known as devout Mormons.
Did Donny leave the fold? Sin the camp, sin in the camp!!!! Did Donny aspotacize? (Hey... that would make an excellent MST3000 title.) Imagine the tithes that came pouring into the LDS Church from all of those songs, dolls, and television specials. CHA CHING! "Give said the little stream..." indeed.

Ugh...if you haven't noticed, I have a thing about the Osmonds. They're right there beneath clowns on my "stuff that scares me and gives me nightmares" list.
*Plugs ears to block out the incessant melody of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.*

15 comments:

Carlie said...

I have to admit it, I think Donny's dancing cameo on Weird Al's White and Nerdy video is awesome.

Saurian200 said...

P-Momma,

"At the height of their popularity in the United States and Britain during "Osmania," fans chased them everywhere. Osmond recalled how one admirer tried to mail herself to him and was found in a box at the post office.

What more does anyone have to say about why this is such a bad idea. Crazy people have it hard enough. People shouldn't be encouraging them to do stuff like this.

Anyway, if all the crazy people are mailing themselves to the Osmands, who will send hate mail to you that you can then post about in your blog for our education and entertainment. Think of the possum's bolg. Won't someone please think of the possum's blog?

Atheist in a mini van. said...

Carlie: I have to admit it, I think Donny's dancing cameo on Weird Al's White and Nerdy video is awesome.

True. He does deserve props for that. ;)


Saurian200: Anyway, if all the crazy people are mailing themselves to the Osmands, who will send hate mail to you that you can then post about in your blog for our education and entertainment. Think of the possum's bolg. Won't someone please think of the possum's blog?

LOL!
I thought it was bad enough that Possum#3 totally dug Shen (Osmond) in Mulan. ;) Apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

No. I joke on Osmond because I *was* an Osmond fan, back in the day. Donny, in particular, manages to keep himself right up there, despite age/passage of time/what-not. Props to him.
He's fifty something and he STILL LOOKS THE SAME as he did in 1980. Michael Jackson can't make such claims. ;)

Joe said...

One thing about Donny Osmond that may not be all that well known is that when the record rating idea came out and many conservatives were on that bandwagon, Osmond came out against the rating system. I admire him for that.
And, I ride my wife for even liking Donny Osmond, though she claims to have had a bigger crush on Bobby Sherman.

Aerik said...

Eeeww. I haven't seen or heard of the Osmonds since that lame-ass superbowl pepsi commercial they did with the Osbournes.

AlisonM said...

If this is allowed to happen, how much longer before we're subjected to Captain and Tenille, Shields and Yarnall. . .will Cher find herself a new Sonny, too? These shows weren't worth watching when they were new! Then again, we have plenty of shows right now that are new and not worth watching. Thank goodness for Netflix.

Virginia aka Ginny said...

And to think, I used to have a life size poster of Donny Osmond on my bedroom door. I kissed that thing every night for a year! lol

Carlie said...

I had a crush on Kirk Cameron, now of the infamous "Way of the Master" videos with Ray Comfort. I am so ashamed.

Virginia aka Ginny said...

Oh man Carlie, you SHOULD be ashamed. ;)

Atheist in a mini van. said...

Allison: If this is allowed to happen, how much longer before we're subjected to Captain and Tenille,...

*shivers*

Carlie said...

I will now claim that I never, ever admitted it. I don't care what's in print an inch and a half above this. Didn't happen, never wrote it.

aimee said...

I have Donnie and Marie Osmond barbie dolls, still in their original clothing. Who knows, might be worth something some day.

Toni said...

Ok, so... (this is so freaking embarassing). When I was a kid my uncle worked for the Osmonds and I once got to sit in Donny's purple, yes I said purple, Limo. Oh and I also had the Donnie and Marie barbies... he had purple socks and everything. UGH!!!

Corbie said...

Your poor possums may have already been exposed--Donny sang in "Mulan".

Every time I see that guy I imagine his face slowly dissolving, leaving only that whiter-than-white, enormous Chiclet-toothed smile hanging in the atmosphere. And then I wake up screaming.

Queen Pickle said...

I had the Donny doll, too! rofl

Didn't Donny O make a comeback a while back (about a decade ago?)..doing newer stuff? Then some of his older fans from when he was a teeny bopper were all hoping to see him play. Donny said he wished they'd get over the past or something that was equally obnoxious. I was crushed! So was my Donny doll...((evil laugh)).