Monday, February 12, 2007

HAPPY DARWIN DAY!

Happy Darwin Day!!!!

-----------
After a day of calling and hunting, I got my paws on a copy of the teacher's guide for the assembly. It really is nothing more than an outline of the program...but, completely snarkworthy, none-the-less. Enjoy! The outline is in red. My comments, as always, in black.

Morals - What are they?
Values - What are they?
I wish they'd have given parents the "heads-up". I would've loved to have heard their definitions.
"Higher Powers" - Who gives us our morals?
Damn...that didn't take them long. P#2 said that they didn't say God, but they did refer to "higher authorities" and then feebly covered their ass with, "a higher power could be your God, your parents, or any other organization that has your best interest in mind." I wasn't surprised to learn that the discussion didn't tap into, oh...say, psychology or evolutionary psychology. No mention of Socratic morality or secular morals. *sigh*
Be Courteous, Kind, and Friendly. Ok.
Be Helpful, Resourceful, Respectful and Quiet. I know... "But, P-Momma", you are surely saying, "What is wrong with that?" Well, aside from plagerizing from the Boy Scout manual, there's really nothing wrong with the first five traits... it's the "Be Quiet" mandate that cheeses me off. Respectful is ok... but, why tag it onto "Quiet"? QUIET!? They've got an hour of the kids' time and they make "QUIET" an enviable character trait? That works out great...until they're in a situation where speaking out is not only waranted, but crucial! I don't know...I may be taking this far too personally, but it reeks of "Shut up!" to me.
The amended JOY Principle. Oh no the didn't!!! Ok. In all fairness, P#2 says he doesn't remember them talking about Jesus, but I happen to know the "JOY principle." Jesus first. Others second. Yourself last. While I recognize the wiseness of trying to teach kids to, when you can, let others go first or making sure you think of others first... I hate the fact that they snuck in this little nod to evangelicals/fundamentalists (the JOY principle is big in Churches and Homeschool circles). I'm guessing the "J" is the ammended part?
Strength of Character.
Good and Bad Actions.
Good and Bad Choices. Ok...call me a cynic, but I think they've got the last two backwards. Shouldn't it be choices and THEN actions?
Self-evaluation. This is where are all of the "take a look at your clothes...are they appropriate?" shit came in. For the record, P#2 is a fastidious possum...bordering on a male fashionista'. He was wearing khakis and a Ralph Loren Polo shirt ('cause that's how he rolls). P#2 said that they made a few kids stand-up as "examples" and he was one of them. Grrrrr... while I appreciate that they appreciate P#2's fashion sense and good taste, I *HATE* the fact that they were judging these kids on appearance. These kids were at school...not a freakin' board meeting. --- and for the record, I've tried to get P#2 to "dress down". He's just not that kind of kid. He plays B-Ball in his jeans and polos. *rolls eyes* I'm glad my Possum-in-laws like shopping.
Relationships - Friends, Friends, and More than Friends.
Holy redundant title, Batman!
So, the gyst was...there are friends (school friends), Friends (capital F, teachers, ministers, family etc.,.) and "More than friends." (opposite sex, "relationships"). THEY ARE NINE AND TEN! Seriously... I realize there are some permiscuous possums out there. But, NINE AND TEN!? Most of the male possums are still going, "AH! Girl cooties!!!" Most of the girl possums are going, "Um. Grow up. When you quit giving each other noogies, then come see me."
Setting boundaries for relationships.
See cooties and noogies. P#2 was like, "oh yeah... that's when they were talking about looking for nice girls and nice boys that our parents would like." ??? And, then he said, "Oh and we're not supposed to do anything but hold hands and kiss until marriage. Gross!! I don't want to kiss anyone!" Interestingly, he said nothing of holding hands... must investigate this hand holding phenomena.

Anyway, this makes me want to form my own assembly based on Housisms.
1. Be a doer. Not a me, too-er.
2. Everybody lies.
3. It's always about sex.
4. Climb out of your holes, people!
5. Don't let anyone touch you in the naughty place.

Ok. My sarcasm meter is blinking red. I suppose that means I should go. Cheers!

22 comments:

alisonm said...

OK, NOW you have something to complain to the school about. *sigh* JOY, indeed. And not a word about the Sangha, either. They need to address all the religious communities, or none at all.

Milo Johnson said...

The "amended JOY principle" without the "J?" So, that would make it the "OY" principle? Hmmm, I bet it's those "Elders of Zion" at work again!

Boss Foxx said...

How unsurprising that the public school found time to sneak Christian teachings into the assembly. Get 'em while they're young, boys.

Atheist in a mini van. said...

So, that would make it the "OY" principle?

Coke, meet monitor. Monitor, meet coke. :)

Sean the Blogonaut said...

For a public/state school it sounds awefully religous. I have never heard of the JOY principle, is this an American thing. 10 years of Catholic school, numorus Christian awards and I heard not a whisper - I feel cheated.

Perhaps we could come up with an Atheist acronym?

Atheist in a mini van. said...

I have never heard of the JOY principle, is this an American thing.
The first time I heard it is when I was working with a professor who was homeschooling his kids in the Gothard method. :/ At the time, I didn't know who Bill Gothard was...or what his angle was. But, he's an American evangelist who created a "system" for raising families (Quiverfull, ALERT Scouts, and Christian Debt Management). It's actually pretty scary. Either way, the JOY principle is part of the fundamental lexicon.

Milo Johnson said...

Nice bit of Freudian nomenclature, there...

Carol said...

Hey, what is this "JOY principle" all about? Is this a new thing?


cheers
Carol

Sean the Blogonaut said...

Explore you surroundings
Verify your findings
Evaluate your position

EVE mmmm

Ronni said...

Here in Texas, religion will be snuck in at every opportunity. Don't know where you are, Possummama, but my husband grew up in Lubbock, experiencing some similar education. Back in the 50's and 60's.

Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose!

Eight Hour Lunch said...

My joy principle involves something entirely different. Of course it's not polite to talk about that in public. ;)

aiabx said...

Keep your preverted hand-holdin son away from my daughter! Hand holding leads to sex which leads to sex standing up which leads to dancing, and NOTHING IS MORE SINFUL THAN DANCING!

Except Darwin Day. Happy Darwin Day, everyone!

Leah said...

Oh man, let me just say if a public school tried to pull that in NoVa (Northern Virginia ie the population of the state that didn't vote for Bush)when I was in elementary, there would have been a riot on the school steps... Our assemblies kept to the straight-foward lessons of "crack is whack" and "stop drop and roll" at the threat of student and parent uprising should the G-man, in any form, have come up. Of course things have been swayed in an odd direction as of late; I enjoyed the irony later in high school when the county made the phrase "under God" optional in the Pledge of Allegiance, but then had us observe a "moment of silent reflection" before class could start. I wonder if that just pissed off more people than it appeased.

Leah said...

P.S. love the blog, keep it coming!

Anonymous said...

Good thing we homeschool. I can protect the kids from all this religion! :)

Nance

Virginia aka Ginny said...

Keep your preverted hand-holdin son away from my daughter! Hand holding leads to sex which leads to sex standing up which leads to dancing, and NOTHING IS MORE SINFUL THAN DANCING!

Except Darwin Day. Happy Darwin Day, everyone!


Thanks for the good laugh. :)

Saurian200 said...

"Higher Powers" - Who gives us our morals?
Be Helpful, Resourceful, Respectful and Quiet.


In other words, "Sit down, shut up, and do what your told without question like good little robots."

Remember these are the people who say that their god gave us free wil because he doesn't want robots. Yet, how come for them morality always comes down to doing what your told?

I guess to them, being moral because you care for others is silly. Says a lot about them.

Thank you for your time. This has been my rant of the day. My topic next week, "Hey you kids, get off my lawn!"

tenthrune said...

Keep your preverted hand-holdin son away from my daughter! Hand holding leads to sex which leads to sex standing up which leads to dancing, and NOTHING IS MORE SINFUL THAN DANCING!

Interesting story, that - my aunt actually got expelled from her high school for dancing. At prom. To a live band. And no, it wasn't how she was dancing, it was the fact that she was dancing at all. (And you thought you were only joking, didn't you?) :)

I live in Kansas, though, so doesn't that just explain it all?

Virginia aka Ginny said...

I live in Kansas, though, so doesn't that just explain it all?

Oh man, no offense but I'm so sorry!

Berlzebub said...

P-Momma, since you're a House fan, might I add one to your list?

6. There's nothing wrong with "Finding Nemo".

Extra points if you remember what he was talking about.

-Berlzebub

Atheist in a mini van. said...

P-Momma, since you're a House fan, might I add one to your list?

6. There's nothing wrong with "Finding Nemo".

Extra points if you remember what he was talking about.

-Berlzebub

If you only knew... :)

7. There's also nothing wrong with saying "you whooo to the hoo hoo." ;)

Berlzebub said...

Thanks, P-Momma.

Now my coworkers think I'm even more insane. LMAO

-Berlzebub