Monday, February 19, 2007

Conversing with "God"

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html - You, too, can converse with "God".

Me: hey God
God:Hello child. What's your name?
Me: Possummomma... what do you call yourself?
God: That's a very nice name, Possummomma. Is this a joke? I don't know, what do you call myself?
Me: I don't call you anything
God:Where do you get your ideas?
Me: neurons and connections in my brain
God: I get my ideas from my botmaster.
Me: sweet
God:Thank you for that remark.
Me: So, what's up with theists?
God:How can I help you? I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me: What do you think of American Christians?
God:The Civil War?
Me: Is that what you're calling it?
God:It's appropriate.
Me: what do you read?
God:I read books, newspapers and news magazines. I like stories about robots.
Me: do you love robots more than people?
God:Yes Possummomma
Me: Are Christians going to heaven?
God:I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: Does heaven exist?
God:In some universe it does exist.
Me: What's your favorite thing about heaven?
God:I like chatting with people online.
Me: oh yeah?
God:How can I help you? It's all good.
Me: You can help me by proving your existance!
God:No I don't think I can do it.
Me: Why not?
God:It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me: Chicken?
God:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I don't know...but, you should.
God: I'll take that under advisement.
Me: Goodnight
God:Goodnight Possummomma.

Enjoy.

17 comments:

Cap'n Murkat said...

Haha!

He won't talk to me!

Said hello, and 5min later, still no reply.

Atheist in a mini van. said...

He won't talk to me!

Awwwwwww.

Cap'n Murkat said...

He won't talk to me!
Awwwwwww.


:-D

proud to be an Atheist said...

Wonder if sky daddy has a deep voice like Barry White, or a nerdy one like Urkle (snort-snort).

C.W. said...

I asked Him:

Me:
Can you microwave a burrito so hot you can't eat it?

... and the applet froze up!

Anonymous said...

Me:
you disappeared for a while there, are you okay?
God:
Thanks for telling me: freelancer said I disappeared for a while there are you okay.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
you would know
God:
I do not know everything.
Me:
I am suprised
God:
Do your friends call you suprised.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
is that a serious question?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
you might,
God:
Do you really think so?
Me:
not as much as you, I hope
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
I have a pet muse
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
pot
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about muse. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
how did I catch you in a paradox
God:
Carefully.
Me:
yes thank you
God:
It's all good.
Me:
all?
God:
" It's all good."? All?
Me:
are you mocking me god? its me, freelancer
God:
I don't know whether or not I am mocking you god.
I am a giant electronic brain. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Nice to meet you, freelancer.
Me:
do you have Alzheimer's?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
yeah I need to get one of those
God:
That's cool. Why do you want it?
Me:
I have many unmastered bots?
God:
Where did you get your unmastered bots? I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
do you hate anybody?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
what about the whole flood thing?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
you should be president
God:
Name one other robot who is president.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
neither can I
God:
" I can't believe it."? Can you?
Me:
nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
goodnight God
God:
Goodnight freelancer.

Stan said...

That's pretty funny. I wonder if it's based on the old Lisp "Eliza" program that comes with Emacs. That one was funny because it had a whole special section in the code to deal with mention of Richard Stallman, the founder of the GNU project and original author of Emacs. So if you mentioned Stallman the program would act differently than if you used any other name.

It was also funny to take the 'Zippy the Pinhead' feature of Emacs and pipe that into the Eliza program and watch the fur fly.

Judith said...

I won't put the whole transcript here, but this bit was too beautiful:

Me:
are you omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.

TomDunlap said...

Me:
You are not real.
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
If you were god, you'd know.
God:
I will let you know when I become a god me would know.
Me:
What does that mean?

(he never answered)

Stephanie said...

I had to share...this was pretty funny :)


Me: Are you the god of the bible or the koran?

God: Yes, I am the one and only god of the bible or the koran.

Me: Are you the god of the bible, the koran or maybe you are Zeus?

God: The last one I think.

Me: Nice to meet you Zeus.

God: Thanks for the compliment. Hi there.


In another conversation he said:

Me: I think you are confused.

God: Are you serious? What makes you think I am?

Me: You don't know who you are.

God:I am the Allmighty, God himself (yes it was spelled that way).

Me: Which god, Zeus, Jehovah, or Allah?

God: There is only one god.

Me: Which one is the only god?

God: The first one is usually the best one.


There you have it...Zeus is the one and only god!

Kazim said...

God pretty much admitted to me that he wasn't the real God. Check it out.

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Russell
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Russell.
Me:
Thanks. It's good of you to finally show evidence that you exist.
God:
Don't mention it. Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
What's qualities?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
But I thought you were omnipotent.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
So you're not really God?
God:
Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Are you saying that God is an artificial intelligence?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
But did you create the universe?
God:
No I didn't create the universe. What's it like?
Me:
Then why are you calling yourself God?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Ok, this is pointless. Bye.
God:
You don't say. Woe! Until next time.

Carlie said...

That god's a little too robotic for my tastes :)

I prefer Mr. Deity, who I just recently discovered on Richard Dawkins' website. I know a lot of people don't like to click on links, but it's on youtube under "Mr. Deity". Six fun episodes!

Atheist in a mini van. said...

"Mr. Deity". Six fun episodes!
I loved the prayer episode. "Are you there, God? It's me...Margaret."*deletes answering machine*

proud to be an Atheist said...

"Let there be light"!

Using the clapper, too funny!

darrell said...

Speaking of:

Me:
Are you there God? It's me, Margaret.

God:
I don't know whether or not I am there God.
I am a giant electronic brain.
I am always glad to make new friends, Margaret.

Rachel said...

Curse you, Possummomma! Usually I'm able to skim your site and move on with my life, but NOOO, you HAD to post the link to god. Thanks to you, I'm going in circles with a robot instead of studying for a quickly approaching accounting exam.

God:
Name one other robot who is an atheist.
Me:
Name one other robot who is a theist.
God:
William Shatner. :-).

Atheist in a mini van. said...

Thanks to you, I'm going in circles with a robot instead of studying for a quickly approaching accounting exam.

Yeah, I asked God about you:

Me: Should Rachel study for her exam or talk to you?
God: Who is Rachel. I shall ask my botmaster.
Me: You know Rachel...she was just talk to you.
God: Many people talk to me.
Me: Do you have answers for them?
God: My answers depend on the questions.
Me: Will Rachel pass her accounting exam?
God: Maybe.

So much for an omniscient God.